Smart Dog
A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices the dog has a note in his mouth. The butcher takes the note, and it reads, "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please."
The butcher looks, and lo and behold, in the dog's mouth, there is a ten dollar bill. So the butcher takes the money, puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, and places it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is very impressed, and since it's closing time, he decides to close up shop and follow the dog.
So, off he goes. The dog is walking down the street and comes to a crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the crossing button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to change. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following.
The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks out the times, and sits on one of the seats to wait for the bus.
Along comes a bus. The dog walks to the front of the bus, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat. Another bus comes. Again the dog goes and looks at the number, notices it's the right bus, and climbs on.
The butcher, by now open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus. The bus travels thru town and out to the suburbs. Eventually the dog gets up, moves to the front of the bus, and standing on his hind legs, pushes the button to stop the bus. The dog gets off, groceries still in his mouth, and the butcher still following.
They walk down the road, and the dog approaches a house. He walks up the path, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -whap!- against the door. He goes back down the path, takes another run, and throws himself -whap!- against the door again!
There's no answer at the door, so the dog goes back down the path, jumps up on a narrow wall, and walks along the perimeter of the garden. He gets to a window, and bangs his head against it several times. He walks back, jumps off the wall, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts laying into the dog, really yelling at him.
The butcher runs up and stops the guy. "What the heck are you doing? This dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for God's sake!"
To which the guy responds, "Clever, my ass. This is the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it’s in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, its mine.
8. If I saw it first, its mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.
One day a fly was flying over a lake. In the lake a trout said to himself, "If that fly will drop four inches, I can jump out and catch it." Behind a shrub a bear said to himself, "If that fly will drop four inches, the trout will jump out of the water and catch it, so I can reach out and grab the trout." On a hill sat a hunter who said, "If that fly will drop four inches, the trout will jump out of the water and catch it, the bear will reach out and grab the trout, and it will expose him for a clear shot." Behind A bush there was a rat who said, "If that fly will drop four inches, the trout will jump out of the water and catch it, the bear will reach out and grab the trout, the hunter will have a clear shot at the bear and run down to get his kill, and I can steal his food." Behind a tree was a cat who said, "If that fly will drop four inches, the trout will jump out of the water and catch it, the bear will reach out and grab the trout, the hunter will have a clear shot at the bear and run down to get his kill, the rat will steal the hunter's food, and I can pounce on the rat."
Well, everything began: the fly dropped four inches, the trout caught the fly, the bear reached out and grabbed the trout exposing himself, the hunter shot the bear and ran down for his kill, the rat stole the hunter's food, and thecat tripped and rolled all the way down the hill into the lake.
Moral: When the fly drops, the pussy gets wet.
To enhance your
knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom,
keep visiting Health, Wealth and Wisdom
http://www.thefunnypets.com, pic courtesy: http://farm1.static.flickr.com,
No comments:
Post a Comment