Economic Model explained with cows

An interesting comparison

Economic Models

Explained with Cows

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other,

and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

 

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of

credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,

then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer

so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a

Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder

who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows,

with an option on one

more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you

with nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

 

 

THE ANDERSEN MODEL

You have two cows.

You shred them.

 

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.

You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want

three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and

produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon'

and market it worldwide.

 

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk

themselves.

 

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

 

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

 

A SWISS CORPORATION

 

You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.

 

 

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

 

 

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

You worship them. ..

 

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.

Both are mad.

 

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

 

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your

 

country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy... .

 

 

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive.

 

 

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows .. .and sell them to China.

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pic courtesy : http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0c/Cow_female_black_white.jpg,