How to play with words?

This has got to be one of the most clever E-mails I've received
 recently. Someone out     
  there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.        
                   
>  (wait till you see the last one)! .......                             
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          DORMITORY:                                                    
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          DIRTY ROOM                                                    
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          PRESBYTERIAN:                                                 
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          BEST IN PRAYER                                                
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          ASTRONOMER:                                                   
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          MOON STARER                                                   
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          DESPERATION:                                                  
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          A ROPE ENDS IT                                                
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          THE EYES:                                                     
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          THEY SEE                                                      
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          GEORGE BUSH:                                                  
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          HE BUGS GORE                                                  
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          THE MORSE CODE:                                               
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          HERE COME DOTS                                                
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          SLOT MACHINES:                                                
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          CASH LOST IN ME                                               
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          ANIMOSITY:                                                    
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          IS NO AMITY                                                   
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          ELECTION RESULTS:                                             
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          LIES - LET'S RECOUNT                                          
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          MOTHER-IN-LAW:                                                
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          WOMAN HITLER                                                  
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          SNOOZE ALARMS:                                                
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S                                            
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          A DECIMAL POINT:                                              
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          IM A DOT IN PLACE                                             
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          THE EARTHQUAKES:                                              
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          THAT QUEER SHAKE                                              
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          ELEVEN PLUS TWO:                                              
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          TWELVE PLUS ONE                                               
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:                                     
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:                                 
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters                                
>                    
>          (With no letters left over and using each letter only once):  
>                    
>          TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

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MIND YOUR LANGUAGE

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

English Pronunciation by G. Nolst Trenité

To enhance your knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom, keep visiting Health, Wealth and Wisdom

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Wonderful English from Around the World

> > In a Bangkok temple :

> > IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A

> > MAN.

> > Cocktail lounge, Norway :

> > LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

> > Doctors office, Rome :

> > SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

> > Dry cleaners, Bangkok :

> > DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

> > In a Nairobi restaurant :

> > CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

> > On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi:

> > TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

> > On a poster at Kencom :

> > ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

> > In a City restaurant :

> > OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

> > In a cemetery :

> > PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN

> > GRAVES.

> > Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations :

> > GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS

> > IN BED.

> > On the menu of a Swiss restaurant :

> > OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

> > In a Tokyo bar :

> > SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

> > Hotel, Yugoslavia :

> > THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE

> > CHAMBERMAID.

> > Hotel, Japan :

> > YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

> > In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery :

> > YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND

> > SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

> > A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest :

> > IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT

> > PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN

> > ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

> > Hotel, Zurich :

> > BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE

> > SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS

>> PURPOSE.

> > Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :

> > WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

> > Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :

> > WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

> > A laundry in Rome :

> > LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A

GOOD TIME.

To enhance your knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom, keep visiting Health, Wealth and Wisdom

To keep yourself updated regarding Dehradun and the world, please visit Doonspot

pic courtesy: http://everydayfunnyfunny.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/funny-english-from-japanese-embassy.jpg,