Happy Janmashtami....

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Laugh a little: Kanjibhai Special

Kanjibhai says - Insanity is inherited; you get it from your kids.

Kanjibhai says - - It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.

Kanjibhai says - - It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.

Kanjibhai says - - Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Kanjibhai says - - Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

Kanjibhai says - - One child is often not enough, but two children can be far too many.

Kanjibhai says - - You can learn many things from children... like how much patience you have.

Kanjibhai says - - Vacations is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid. HAAAA

Kanjibhai says - - There are three ways to get things done:1) do it yourself 2) hire someone to do it 3) forbid your kids to do it.

Kanjibhai says - - There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.

Kanjibhai says - - Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.

Kanjibhai says - - The best thing to spend on your children is time.
You will find, as you look back upon your life, that the moments that stand out are the moments when you have done things for others.

Worrying is like being in a rocking chair,It gives you something to do but does not get you anywhere.

When I pray, God either changes the circumstances or me.

The fragrance remains in the hand that gave the rose.


Kanjibhai buys ORGANIC vegetables

Rupaben asked Kanjibhai to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market because that's the new trend.
Kanjibhai went and looked around and couldn't find any around the street market.
So Kanjibhai grabbed an old, tired looking bhaiya and said,"These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?"
"The bhaiya looked at Kanjibhai and said, "No. You'll have to do that yourself."

Kanjibhai plays gambling

A maharaj, a sadhu , and Kanjibhai were playing makta cards ( gambling ) when the police raided the game. Turning to the maharaj, the lead police officer said, "Maharaji , were you playing Makta ?"
Turning his eyes to heaven, the maharaj whispered, "Vishnu , forgive me for what I am about to do. "To the police officer, he then said, "No, officer; I was not gambling."
The officer then asked the sadhu , "Sadhuji , were you playing cards ?"
Again, after an appeal to heaven, the sadhu replied, "No, officer; I was not playing cards ."
Turning to Kanjibhai , the officer again asked, "Kanjibhai , were you gambling?"Shrugging his shoulders, Kanjibhai replied, "With whom ?"

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Kinds of SEX....

Results of a recent research show that there are 7 kinds of sexual intercourse

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.*

This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.*

This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.*

This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex* This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you."

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex.* Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.*

This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And, last, but not least:
The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.*

You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.

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Astrological knowledge........

Are You a Perfect Match?

ARIES

Perfect Partners: Leo, Sagittarius

Nearly Perfect Partners: Gemini, Aquarius

Like Minded Souls: Aries

Opposites You're Attracted To: Virgo, Scorpio

Learn From Your Differences: Pisces, Taurus

Not Your Destiny: Cancer, Capricorn

Astrological Hell: Libra

Don't miss to read: Zodiac signs and Love

TAURUS

Perfect Partners: Virgo, Capricorn

Nearly Perfect Partners: Cancer, Pisces

Like Minded Souls: Taurus

Opposites You're Attracted To: Libra, Sagittarius

Learn From Your Differences: Aries, Gemini

Not Your Destiny: Leo, Aquarius

Astrological Hell: Scorpio

GEMINI

Perfect Partners: Libra, Aquarius

Nearly Perfect Partners: Aries, Leo

Like Minded Souls: Gemini

Opposites You're Attracted To: Scorpio, Capricorn

Learn From Your Differences: Taurus, Cancer

Not Your Destiny: Virgo, Pisces

Astrological Hell: Sagittarius

Don't miss to read: Do's and Don'ts of Zodiac Signs

CANCER

Perfect Partners: Scorpio, Pisces

Nearly Perfect Partners: Taurus, Virgo

Like Minded Souls: Cancer

Opposites You're Attracted To: Sagittarius, Aquarius

Learn From Your Differences: Gemini, Leo

Not Your Destiny: Aries, Libra

Astrological Hell: Capricorn

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 LEO

Perfect Partners: Aries, Sagittarius

Nearly Perfect Partners: Gemini, Libra

Like Minded Souls: Leo

Opposites You're Attracted To: Capricorn, Pisces

Learn From Your Differences: Cancer, Virgo

Not Your Destiny: Scorpio, Taurus

Astrological Hell: Aquarius

VIRGO

Perfect Partners: Taurus, Capricorn

Nearly Perfect Partners: Cancer, Scorpio

Like Minded Souls: Virgo

Opposites You're Attracted To: Aries, Aquarius

Learn From Your Differences: Leo, Libra

Not Your Destiny: Gemini, Sagittarius

Astrological Hell: Pisces

Don't miss to read: Story behind your date of your birth

LIBRA

Perfect Partners: Gemini, Aquarius

Nearly Perfect Partners: Leo, Sagittarius

Like Minded Souls: Libra

Opposites You're Attracted To: Taurus, Pisces

Learn From Your Differences: Virgo, Scorpio

Not Your Destiny: Cancer, Capricorn

Astrological Hell: Aries

SCORPIO

Perfect Partners: Cancer, Pisces

Nearly Perfect Partners: Virgo, Capricorn

Like Minded Souls: Scorpio

Opposites You're Attracted To: Aries, Gemini

Learn From Your Differences: Libra, Sagittarius

Not Your Destiny: Leo, Aquarius

Astrological Hell: Taurus

SAGITTARIUS

Perfect Partners: Aries, Leo

Nearly Perfect Partners: Libra, Aquarius

Like Minded Souls: Sagittarius

Opposites You're Attracted To: Taurus, Cancer

Learn From Your Differences: Scorpio, Capricorn

Not Your Destiny: Virgo, Pisces

Astrological Hell: Gemini

CAPRICORN

Perfect Partners: Taurus, Virgo

Nearly Perfect Partners: Scorpio, Pisces

Like Minded Souls: Capricorn

Opposites You're Attracted To: Gemini, Leo

Learn From Your Differences: Sagittarius, Aquarius

Not Your Destiny: Aries, Libra
Astrological Hell: Cancer

AQUARIUS

Perfect Partners: Gemini, Libra

Nearly Perfect Partners: Aries, Sagittarius

Like Minded Souls: Aquarius

Opposites You're Attracted To: Cancer, Virgo

Learn From Your Differences: Capricorn, Pisces

Not Your Destiny: Taurus, Scorpio

Astrological Hell: Leo

PISCES

Perfect Partners: Cancer, Scorpio

Nearly Perfect Partners: Taurus, Capricorn

Like Minded Souls: Pisces

Opposites You're Attracted To: Leo, Libra

Learn From Your Differences: Aries, Aquarius

Not Your Destiny: Gemini, Sagittarius

Astrological Hell: Virgo

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Which month were you born in? I was born in May………

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Sensitive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Aggressive when provoked. Sensitive to others. Loves to help others. Not easily angered. Trustworthy. Defends others. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Varied interests. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Strong belief system. Hasty in trusting others. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Depends on friends. Loves special things. Moody and easily hurt. A giving lover. Very loyal. Deep Thinker. Feels deeply. A romantic. Loves to be loved. Thrifty. Loves down time alone.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting ! problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends .

SEPTEMBER :Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

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