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Saturday, February 12, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Just for fun........
There are 3 kinds of men in world:
Some remain single & see Wonders happen,
Some remain single & see Wonders happen,
Some have girlfriends & make Wonders happen,
The rest get married & Wonder what happened !!
Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home.
Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.
One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed.
After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, 'Do you know what I miss most of all?'
She asks, 'What?'
'Sex!!' he replies
Mildred exclaims, 'Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!'
'I know,' Harold says, 'but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while.'
Well, I can oblige,' says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.
Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K.
She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's manhood!
Furious, Mildred yelled, 'You two-timing son-of-a-bitch! What does Ethel have that I don't have?'
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, 'Parkinson's.'
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a retired golfer in his late sixties and the other a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties. The circus owner tells them: "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer, so you two had better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired golfer and asks: "Can you top that?" The tough old golfer replies: "No problem, just get that lion out of there."
************************************************************************************
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired golfer and asks: "Can you top that?" The tough old golfer replies: "No problem, just get that lion out of there."
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To enhance your
knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom,
keep visiting Health, Wealth and Wisdom
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
TENSION:
The moment you are in tension
You will lose your Attention
You are in Total Confusion
You’ll feel Irritation
You’ll spoil Personal Relation
Ultimately, you won't get Cooperation
You’ll have Complication
Your BP may also raise caution
You may have to take Medication
Instead, Understand the Situation
Try to think about the Solution
Problems will be solved by Discussion
This will work out better in your Profession
Don’t think it’s a free Suggestion
It is only for your prevention
If you understand my Intention
You’ll never again invite Tension!!!
To enhance your
knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom,
keep visiting Health, Wealth and Wisdom
pic courtesy : http://everyview.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/high-tension.jpg,
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Tuesday, February 1, 2011
If u cross the BORDER....................
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