Monday, August 25, 2008

Laws of Life

1) Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
2) Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3) Kovac's Conundrum: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.
4) Cannon's Karmic Law: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
5) O'brien's Variation Law: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
6) Bell's Theorem: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
7) Ruby's Principle of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8) Willoughby's Law: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
9) Zadra's Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10) Breda's Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
11) Owen's Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

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