Thursday, September 18, 2008

Time to laugh....

A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance, is feminine -- "la maison." "Pencil”, however, is masculine -- "le crayon."
A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether “computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it. (No chuckling guys... this gets better!!!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (le computer"), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won
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Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postman: Yeh post office hai, police station nahi.
Man: Kya karu? Kahan jau? Khushi k maare kuchh samajh me nahi aa raha.
Husband: Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Faayda Hua Hai.
Wife: Woh Kya?
Husband: Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gayi!
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life... The wives want both!
A boy on Date With Gal in BMW. Jaan ! Maine tumse ek baat chupaai hai ki I'm already married.
Girl: Oh GOD! Tumne To dara he dia, main Samjhi ye Car tumhari nahi.
Men who don´t understand women at all, by & large, fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
Wife to her friend: My hubby bought me a Mood ring the other day. When I'm in a gud mood, it turns Green & when Im in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead!
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Kammu phoned her husband Nil at work as usual for a chat.
Nil said, "Kammu darling, I am terribly busy today, can you call me back later today perhaps"
Kammu said, "But sweetheart, I have a good news, and I have a bad news to give to you."
Nil said, "Darling, I do not have time, so why don't you give me the good news now, and when I come back home in the evening then give me the bad news, this way I can focus here, and do not spoil my work."
Kammu said, "OK dear. The good news is, the Air bag of our brand new Lexus works, I got my life saved. And when you come back home in the evening I will give you the bad news."
And then Kammu hung up.
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Teacher tells a student a=b, b=c implies a=c. Tell me an example. Student: I love u - u love your daughter - so I love your daughter.
2) Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage" It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".
3) What is a girl friend? ---- Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.
4) A married man was asked to perform his SWOT (Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, and Threat) Analysis. He said, my strength is my wife. My weakness is my neighbours’ wife. Opportunity comes when neighbour goes out. Threat comes when I myself go out
5) Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard. Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?"

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tags : married, man, woman, Niagara Falls, waterfalls, Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, Threat
pic courtesy: http://herrey.files.wordpress.com/, 

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