KISS: Interesting facts...

Everybody seems to know how to kiss. The question is: Are you aware of a variety of interesting facts and details about a kiss? Is kissing good or bad for you? How do they do it in Japan , France and other countries? Can you slim down by kissing too much? Below are some of the most curious things about kissing.

1. An act of kissing puts 29 facial muscles in motion. In other words, kissing can be used as an effective exercise to prevent the development of wrinkles.

2. Lovers swap saliva containing various substances e.g. fats, mineral salts, proteins while kissing. According to latest studies, the exchange of the above substances can give a boost to the production of antibodies which are made specifically to deal with the antigens associated with different diseases as they are encountered.

3. As a rule, 66 percent of people keep their eyes closed while kissing. The rest take pleasure in watching the emotions run the gamut on the faces of their partners.

4. According to U.S. statistics, an American woman would kiss an average of 80 men before she gets married.

5. A quick romantic kiss will burn about 2-3 calories, whereas French kiss (an openmouthed kiss with tongue contact) will obliterate more than 5 calories.

6. Sensitivity of the lips is 200 times higher than that of the fingers.

7. It is thought that men who kiss their wives goodbye before going to work live five years longer than those who just slam the door. Men of the latter category are said to be more prone to traffic accidents.

8. Smooching passionately for 90 seconds will elevate blood pressure and cause the pulse rate to go racing. It will also increase the level of hormones in the blood, thus reducing life by one minute.

9. French kiss is called a “juncture of souls” in France . Not only the lips do the job, the tongues come into play too. The passionate French invented another variety of the soul kiss in which only the tongues are employed.

10. Contrary to a popular belief, the Eskimos do not merely rub their noses against each other in a display of love and affection. The lips open up a bit once the olfactory organs of the kissing partners meet. Then the Eskimos take a deep breath and send the air out while holding their lips closed. After savoring the scent of each other, the partners press noses against each other’s cheeks and freeze for a minute of two.
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"Kya tere baap kaa road hai?" - An apocryphal story involving Russi Mody. (Ex MD Tata Steel, Jamshedpur) I would like to believe that the following story actually happened. It is so typically Russi.
It is said that once Russi Mody was on an official trip to (the then) Bombay. Even though it was a Sunday morning, Russi had to visit Bombay House, the Corporate Head Quarters of the Tata Group.
Russi was driving a Mercedes himself as it was a Sunday and there was very little traffic and also it was the chauffeur's day off. Russi was wearing simple shorts and a T shirt. Knowing that he would take just a few minutes to finish his work in Bombay House and that it was a non-working day in the business district with very low traffic, he decided to take liberties to park his Merc in an other-wise no parking zone.

A conscientious traffic cop noticed all this and he immediately rushed to Russi who had started sauntering towards the Bombay House entrance. In a gruff voice the Pandu Havaldar asked Russi. "Kyun bhidu, baap kaa sadak samajh kay rakha hai kya?" Russi very non-chalantly replied: "Haan kuchh aisa hi hai. Aapko English padhna aata hai kya?"

Then he gently held the Pandu's arm and walked him to the kerbside and pointed to the metal signage of the road. He asked the cop "Kya Likha Hai?" The cop said "Sir Homi Mody Street". A mischievously smiling Russi discloses"Woh Mera Baap Tha". Russi was allowed to leave his car parked in the "No Parking" Zone that Sunday morning.
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Chilly Question & Ans.

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday
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Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
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Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
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Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.
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Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
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Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
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Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!
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Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
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Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
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1. Losing all your friends
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.'

2. Brother wanted A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,'send me a brother'.... Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'....

3. Meaning of WIFE Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!' Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'

4. Importance of a period Teacher: 'Do you know the importance of a period?' Kid: 'Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.'

5. Confident vs. confidential A young boy asks his Dad, 'What is the difference between confident and confidential? ' Dad says, 'You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! '

6. Anger management? Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?' Wife: 'I clean the toilet.' Husband: 'How does that help?' Wife: 'I use your toothbrush.'

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Drunk Superman

Drunk Superman
A lady walks into a bar and sees a really good-looking guy sitting at the bar by himself. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. "Magic Beer".he says .
She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?
"Yes", I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times and comes back in the window.
The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again." He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having." She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer,jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.
The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk.

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Some Great Rules
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to press on it.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.
Work is accomplished by those employees who are still striving to reach their level of incompetence.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. (The corollary is: You never learn to pray until your kids learn to drive!)
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. (Project Management at its best).

pic courtesy: http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/080213/Superman-Comic_l.jpg, 

A lesson for lifetime....

A young man, a student in one of the universities, was one day taking a walk with a professor, who was commonly called the students' friend for his kindness to those who waited on his instructions.

As they went along, they saw lying in the path a pair of old shoes, which were supposed to belong to a poor man who was working in a field close by, and who had nearly finished his day's work . . .

Student turned to the professor, saying: "Let us play the man a trick:We will hide his shoes, and hide ourselves behind those bushes, and wait to see his perplexity when he cannot find them ..."

"My young friend," answered the professor, "We should never amuse ourselves at the expense of the poor . . . But you are rich, and may give yourself a much greater pleasure by means of this poor man. Put a coin in each shoe, and then we will hide ourselves and watch how this affects him."

The student did so and they both placed themselves behind the bushes close by. The poor man soon finished his work, and came across the field to the path where he had left his coat and shoes . . .

While putting on his coat he slipped his foot into one of his shoes, but feeling something hard, he stooped down to feel what it was, and found the coin. Astonishment and wonder were seen upon his countenance.

He gazed upon the coin, turned it around and looked at it again and again.He then looked around him on all sides, but no person was to be seen. He now put the money into his pocket, and proceeded to put on the other shoe; but his surprise was doubled on finding the other coin . . .
His feelings overcame him . . . He fell upon his knees, looked up to heaven and uttered aloud a fervent thanksgiving in which he spoke of his wife, sick and helpless, and his children without bread, whom this timely bounty, from some unknown hand, would save from perishing . . .

The student stood there deeply affected, and his eyes filled with tears.

"Now," said the professor, are you not much better pleased than if you had played your intended trick?"
The youth replied, "You have taught me a lesson which I will never forget. .. I feel now the truth of these words, which I never understood before: "It's more blessed to give than to receive."

If you want happiness... .For a lifetime - help someone . . .

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DID YOU KNOW THESE MEANINGS……
CRICKET : Gol guttam lakad battam de danadan pratiyogita

CRICKET TEST MATCH : Pakad dandu, maar mandu, de danaadan pratiyogita

TABLE TENNIS : Lakdi ke phalak shetra pe Le takaatak de takaatak

LAWN TENNIS : Harit Ghaas par Le tada tad, de tada tad

LIGHT BULB : Vidyut Prakashak Kanch golak

TIE : Kanth Langoti

MATCH BOX : Ragdampatti Agni Utpaadan Peti

TRAFFIC SIGNAL : Aavat Jaavat Suchak Jhandaa

TEA : Dugdh Jal Mishrit Sharkara Yukt Parvatiya(pahaadi) Booti

TRAIN : Sahasra Chakra Louh Path Gaamini

ALL ROUTE PASS : Yatr Tatr Sarvatr Gaman Aagya Patr

RAILWAY SIGNAL : Loh Path Gamini Suchak Yantra

RAILWAY SIGNAL : Agni Rath Aava Gaman Soochak Pattika

RAILWAY SIGNAL : Louh path gaamini aawagaman suchak yantra

RAILWAY STATION : Bhabhka Adda

BUTTON : Ast Vyast Vastra Niyantrak

MOSQUITO : Gunjanhaari Manav Rakt Pipasu Jeev

CIGERETTE : Shweta patra mandit dhumra shalakha
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Monkey

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then grabs some sliced limes and eats them.

Then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole! "
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.
"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks."No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. " He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first..."

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Men--are we so bad? Ladies tell me...

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.

To attract a man, wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
Women like quiet men because they think they are listening.

On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.

The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will see a man who can't get his pants off!

Don't kick a man when he's down unless you're certain he won't get up.

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Man who sneezes without tissues takes matters into his own hands. (yuck)

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.

If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children." -- they leave skid marks. This works whether a man or woman says it.

There are easier things in life than finding a good man. Like Nailing Jello to a tree for instance.

Mankind is stupid. If you forget, they will remind you.

Men are like fish. Neither would get in trouble if they kept their mouths shut

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21 things an Indian does after returning from abroad...

21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.

19. Sprays duo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate". Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven OhFour Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible(but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, YZee(but never says Zed)

11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY,says "Oh! British Style!!!!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.

6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he isexperiencing it for the first time.5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

4. Looks speciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.Few more important

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries toroll the bag on Indian Roads.

Ultimate one1. Tries to begin conversation with"In US ...." or "When I was in US..."

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Now, can you just believe this? Read it till end...

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed tobeat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of the thumb'

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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled'Gentlemen Only....Ladies Forbidden'.. ..and thus the word GOLF enteredinto the English language

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

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Coca-Cola was originally green

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It is impossible to lick your elbow.

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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer

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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:Spades - King David Hearts, Charlemagne – Clubs, Alexander - the Great,Diamonds - Julius Caesar

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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321

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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs inthe air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg inthe air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. Ifthe horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of naturalcauses.

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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boatname requested?A. Obsession

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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to gountil you would find the letter 'A'?A. One thousand

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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, andlaser printers all have in common?A. All were invented by women

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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?A. Honey

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In Shakespeare' s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bedfirmer to sleep on.. Hence the phrase...... ... 'goodnight, sleep tight.'

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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for amonth after the wedding, the bride's father would supply hisson-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer andbecause their calendar was lunar based, this period was called thehoney month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in oldEngland , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'

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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked intothe rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill,they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is thephrase inspired by this practice.

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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

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Now....Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch atCmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in aword are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteerbe in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can stillraed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mni d deos notraed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh?

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Dr. Santa wants to examine u......

Have you heard of Mr. Santa Singh applying to a medical school to become a doctor?


Needless to say he never made it. You know why?


These are the answers he wrote in his entrance exam.


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Antibody - against everyone

Artery - The study of the paintings.

Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria.

Caesarean section - a district in Rome.

Cardiology - advance study of poker playing.

Cat scan - searching for lost kitty.

Chronic - neck of a crow.

Coma - punctuation mark.

Cortisone - area around local court.

Cyst - short for sister.

Diagnosis - person with slanted nose.

Dilate - the late British Princess Diana.

Dislocation - in this place.

Duodenum - couple in blue jeans.

Enema - not a friend.

Fake labour - pretending to work.

Genes - blue denim.

Hernia - she is close by.

Impotent - distinguished/ well known.

Labour pain - hurt at work.

Lactose - people without toes.

Lymph - walk unsteadily.

Microbes - small dressing gown.

Obesity - city of Obe.

Pacemaker - winner of Nobel peace prize.

Proteins - in favour of teens.

Pulse - grain.

Pus - small cat.

Red blood count - Dracula.

Secretion - hiding anything.

Tablet - small table.

Ultrasound - radical noise.

Urine - opposite of you're out.

Varicose - very close.

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Laugh a little guys.....

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

• I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in, she said: Cheque books.

• The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.

• Sometimes when I reflect back on all the ciggarettes I smoked, i feel ashamed. Then I look into the ciggarette & think about the workers in the ciggarette factory & all of their hopes & dreams. If I dont smoke this ciggarette, they might be out of work & their dreams would be shattered, Then I say to myself, it's better that I smoke this ciggarette & let their dreams come true then be selfish & worry about my LUNGS.

• Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

• What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

• My wife thinks "freedom of the press" means no-iron clothes.

• When the best actors are chosen by other actors, it's called the Oscars. When the best actors are chosen by the people, it's called an election.

• A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drove his prize possession.. .even to the grocery store which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age!"

• A boy tells his mom that he seen a boy & a girl sitting at the top of the roof & kissing. Then his mom tell him that they are gonna get married. Then the boy asks his mom: When is dad gonna marry the maid?

• "Take a pencil and paper," the teacher said, "and write an essay with the title 'If I Were a Millionaire' " Everyone but Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously. "What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?" "I'm waiting for my secretary," he replied.

• Wife's definition of retirement: Twice as much husband on half as much pay.

• Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

• Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal

• A blonde was being admonished by the doctor: Until the penicillin cleans out ur infection, u r to have no relations whatsoever! Pausing for a moment, blonde replied: Ok, but what about friends & neighbors?

• A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper.
Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper?
French: Toilette pepper!

• A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting on a deck at a nudist colony.
The history professor asked the psychology professor, "Have you read Marx?"
The psychology professor replied, "Yes, I think they are from the wicker chairs."

• We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations--we' re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together

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You want to insult someone? Let me help you...

* I heard you went to have your head examined, but the doctors found nothing there.

* Don't get me wrong. I`m not trying to make a monkey out of you. I can’t take the credit.

* This is no battle of wits between u & me. I never pick on an unarmed man.

* Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you've got a palm.

* We think of you when we are lonely. Then we are content to be alone.

* Hey, how come even though you are still alive your parents are in mourning for you?

* I'd like to break the monotony; where's your weakest point?

* I hear you are an officer. Your rank is -- just plain rank!

* Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic.

· If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents.

· If you don't want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately.

·I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.

· They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.

·You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.

·People can't say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!

·You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.

·I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more!

If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

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Some things to share...

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement .

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL.'

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt .

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs'.

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf

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tags : Algebra, birds, golf, aging, young, roads, government

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Be rational

1. Time doesn't wait for you.
R1:Don't worry; Just remove the damn battery from your clock stop the time and Enjoy life!

2. You are expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person?
R2: Don't expect a tiger not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.

3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance, dress you wear, makeup you put on, flirting you do, but Beauty is as expressed by what you are inside.
R3: So try roaming naked, express yourself and see what happens!

4. Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
R4.Boy do you have an Attitude? Good Luck!

5. Every woman wishes that her daughter will marry a luckier man than she did and her son should never find a wife as smart as his father did!
R5: Wishful Thinking Lady.

6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused to honor the claim.
R6: The bastards said, "The man who never lived, is not dead." Though they collected the premium


7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
R7: The Pond owner is suing the wife dumper of being cruel to his Crocodiles!

8. You had so many options for suicide: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks,
R8: But you chose Marriage, a long, slow, sure and tormenting process of death.

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains,
R9. Because rest have girlfriends!

10. All desirable things in life are illegal, banned, and expensive.
R10: Or are married to some others!

11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
R11: Tell me who should I listen to?

12. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,
When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
R12: Oye Ganpat, go bring me the Whisky!

13. 10% of road accidents are due to mindless drunken driving.
R13: 90% of accidents are due to mindful driving without drinking? So mindless driving has more safety built into it.

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tags : laziness, accident, driving, Jawahar Lal Nehru, heart, Mahatama Gandhi
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Let me tell you something

• The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma.
• No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.
• Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
• You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
• Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.
• The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
• The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE
• American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.
• Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.(Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)
• Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
• Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!
• The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
• So did the first "Marlboro Man.”
• Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!
• PEARLS MELT IN VINEGAR!
• The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
• It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but, not downstairs.
• A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
• Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
• (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)
• Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first U.S. president whose name contains all the letters from the word “criminal."
• And the best for last.....Turtles can breathe through their butts.
• (I know some people like that, don't YOU?)

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Some Thoughts....

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
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To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
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The road to success - Is always under construction.
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Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
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In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
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All the desirable things in life are illegal, expensive or fattening.
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Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
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Everyone has a scheme of getting rich? Which never works?
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If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
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You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
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Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
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***** 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot. *****
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As soon as you mention something?? If it is good, it is taken? If it is bad, it happens.
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He, who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.
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If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? The bus is still late.
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Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
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When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
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If you have paper, you don't have a pen? If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? If you have both, no one calls.
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Especially for engg. Students----
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
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You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
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The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
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After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
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If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.
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Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker

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tags : mobile, cigarette, door bell, company

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

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2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

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3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

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4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?

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5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?" No Loser, I paid Rs.125 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

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6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... .. Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

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7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

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8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

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9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?” If the bus came would I be standing here, dumb ass?

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To enhance your knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom, keep visiting Health, Wealth and Wisdom

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From Now on.....

1. From now on, every time anyone asks you how you are? The answer is always and forever a very, very positive --- [Great! Terrific! Fantastic!]

NO MATTER HOW YOU REALLY FEEL!

It doesn't matter! You are trying to change you!

FOREVER!

2. From now on, you commit to taking full and total responsibility for your circumstances, your results and how you feel! It will always be your responsibility and that of your brain cells and no one else's!

3. From now on, you will always learn new things everyday!

4. From now on, you will stop yourself from completing any and every negative thought or words, and turn them into a positive, before you go on to anything else!

5. From now on, you will always every day do something new, strange, crazy, silly, out of the box, embarrassing, or that is otherwise "not like you".

6. From now on, you will always, set a goal by putting it down in writing.

7. From now on, you will willingly and eagerly fail at something important every day---and learn from it!

8. From now on, you will every day of your life, tell at least two people that you love them. (One should always be you, even if you don't believe it yet!)

9. From now on, you will every day of your life, do an exercise regimen for your brain or your body. (Preferably both!)

10. From now on, you will stop and look to see what everyone else is doing, and then choose to probably do the opposite!

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tags : goal, positive, opposite, forever, fine

Some awesome thoughts

• Living on Earth is expensive but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.
• Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
• How long a minute is...depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
• Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?
• If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
• Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.
• If WalMart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?
• You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
• Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
• Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
• We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
• A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
• Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
• Have an awesome day, and know that someone has thought about you today!

tags : Walmart, Earth, Birthdays, Ignorance, Expensive

Some interesting facts....

1. Walter Cavanaugh, "Mr. Plastic Fantastic," has 1,196 different valid credit cards.

2. The oldest known goldfish lived to 41 years of age. Its name was Fred.

3. In 1987, a 1,400-year-old lump of still-edible cheese was unearthed in Ireland.

4. There is a town in Newfoundland, Canada called Dildo.

5. In Kentucky, 50% of the people who get married for the first time are teenagers.

6. Kotex was first manufactured as bandages, during WWI.

7. If an orangutan belches at you, watch out. He's warning you to stay out of his territory.

8. Einstein couldn't speak fluently when he was nine. His parents thought he might be retarded.

9. In Los Angeles, there are fewer people than there are automobiles.

10. About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they're still sitting on it.

11. In 1984, a New Jersey man opened a summer camp for Cabbage Patch dolls.

12. You're more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day that in any other weather.

13. How can you tell when a gorilla is angry? It sticks its tongue out.

14. According to one poll, nearly 3/4 of all American women wear a bra that is the wrong size.

15. In 1976, a Los Angeles secretary formally married her 50-pound pet rock.

16. The first sperm banks opened in 1964; they were located in Tokyo and Iowa City.

17. In 1980, the Yellow Pages accidentally listed a Texas funeral home under frozen foods.

18. Cold showers actually increase sexual arousal.

19. 200 college students streaked at the same time in Boulder, CO in 1974.

20. In 1977, a 13-year-old boy discovered a tooth growing on his left foot.

21. In 1983, a Japanese artist made a copy of the Mona Lisa completely out of toast.

22. In the early '80s, a toad was discovered that meows instead of croaking.

23. In 1984, a Canadian farmer began renting ad space on his cows.

24. About 96% of all American children can recognize Ronald McDonald.

25. An average person laughs about 15 times a day.

26. Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.

27. Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air.

28. The average human has seven sex fantasies in a day.

29. The most money ever paid for a cow in an auction was $1.3 million.

30. The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.

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tags : Einstein, Yellow Pages, Canadian, Texas, Monalisa, Mcdonald, Los Angeles

Funny quotes and Why men are happier???

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. - Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
- Jean Cocturan

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
- Darrin Weinberg

Life is pleasant.

• Death is peaceful.
• It's the transition that's troublesome.
• 
  
• Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
• Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
• It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.
• Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.
• Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
• Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
• Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
• The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
• Don’t worry that the world ends today; it’s already tomorrow in Australia!

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Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?

• Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
• You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

Tags : pregnant, chocolate, Albert Einstein, Men, Phone, work

pic courtesy : pic courtesy:http://cdemar22.com, 

Marriage--what is it?

1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffeRING.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but they still stay together.

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.

21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.

22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, And THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.

25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on.

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

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tags : marriage, wife, husband, ring, money, house

pic courtesy: http://www.samedaymarriage.com,