Funny quotes and Why men are happier???

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. - Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
- Jean Cocturan

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
- Darrin Weinberg

Life is pleasant.

• Death is peaceful.
• It's the transition that's troublesome.
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• Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
• Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
• It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.
• Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.
• Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
• Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
• Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
• The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
• Don’t worry that the world ends today; it’s already tomorrow in Australia!

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Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?

• Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
• You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

Tags : pregnant, chocolate, Albert Einstein, Men, Phone, work

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