Husband and wife....

Doctor : Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife : When must I give them to him?
Doctor : They are for you.


Position of a Husband Is just like a Split Air Conditioner - No matter
however Loud he is in the Outdoor He is designed to remain Silent indoor...


"Husband is one, who is the head of the family, but his wife is the neck,
and whichever way she turns, he goes."


A man in Hell asked Devil: Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.


Why do most Indian women request God for the same husband in the next life?
Because efforts taken to train him in this life should not go to waste!

God said, "i cannot be everywhere, so i created mother".
Devil replied, "even i cannot be everywhere, so i created mother-in-law!!


Friend #1: Are you visiting us tomorrow? Do you need directions?
Friend #2: I'm all set. I have the address, a GPS, and a GPS override.
Friend #1: What's a GPS override?
Friend #2: My wife.


Wife :You changed after marriage.
Husband: I've told you before that I am not interested in Married women

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Kiwi Farmer

A  Kiwi man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.  

After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help.

The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.  
  
The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. 
  
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when 
they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.  
  
So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again.  
  
He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed
exhausted.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.  
  
Try again. he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the window.  
  
He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass. 


  No, she says,   they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is beeping the horn.

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Great Heights.....

1. What is height of Fashion?

= Dhoti with a zip

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2. What is height of Secrecy?

= Offering blank visiting cards.

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3. What is height of Active laziness?

= Asking for a lift to house while on a morning

  walk.

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5. What is height of Craziness?

= Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

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6. What is height of Forgetfulness?

= Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when 

  you saw him / her last.

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7. What is height of Stupidity?

= A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

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8. What is height of Honesty?

= A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

***********************************************************
9. What is height of Suicide?

= A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

***********************************************************

10. What is height of De-hydration?

= A cow giving milk powder.

To enhance your knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom, keep visiting Health, Wealth and Wisdom

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