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Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Happy Vijaya Dashmi to everyone
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Sunday, October 5, 2008
Be rational
1. Time doesn't wait for you.
R1:Don't worry; Just remove the damn battery from your clock stop the time and Enjoy life!
2. You are expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person?
R2: Don't expect a tiger not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance, dress you wear, makeup you put on, flirting you do, but Beauty is as expressed by what you are inside.
R3: So try roaming naked, express yourself and see what happens!
4. Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
R4.Boy do you have an Attitude? Good Luck!
5. Every woman wishes that her daughter will marry a luckier man than she did and her son should never find a wife as smart as his father did!
R5: Wishful Thinking Lady.
6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused to honor the claim.
R6: The bastards said, "The man who never lived, is not dead." Though they collected the premium
7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
R7: The Pond owner is suing the wife dumper of being cruel to his Crocodiles!
8. You had so many options for suicide: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks,
R8: But you chose Marriage, a long, slow, sure and tormenting process of death.
9. Only 20 percent boys have brains,
R9. Because rest have girlfriends!
10. All desirable things in life are illegal, banned, and expensive.
R10: Or are married to some others!
11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
R11: Tell me who should I listen to?
12. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,
When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
R12: Oye Ganpat, go bring me the Whisky!
13. 10% of road accidents are due to mindless drunken driving.
R13: 90% of accidents are due to mindful driving without drinking? So mindless driving has more safety built into it.
To enhance your
knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom,
keep visiting Health,
Wealth and Wisdom
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Friday, October 3, 2008
Signs you've been in the Indian IT industry for too long...
1.) U use phrases like "No issues" and "Value addition" in everyday parlance. For e.g . . . . When talking about your doodhwalla, U say, "His milk does zero value addition to my health but he is the only guy around so no issues"
2.) Ur prime source of entertainment is the forwards sent to U by friends whose faces U can’t remember.
3.) U drink more tea or coffee than water.
4.) When a half-day at work means leaving at 7:30 in the evening (and U actually feel guilty about it).
5.) U keep trying to shut down ur home computer by pressing Ctrl+Alt+Del (used to lock office comps)
6.) After U switch on your TV, U spends some time looking for a mouse.
7.) When ur mobile rings at home, U rush outside to receive the call.
8.) When U make calls at home, U accidentally dial"0" to get an outside line.
9.) U haven’t played Solitaire with real cards in years.
10.) U tell everyone your favourite book is "Who Moved my Cheese?" when in reality U couldn’t even finish that. Ur real favourite book is the Oracle manual for PL/SQL.
11.) Ur last crush was a girl in HR, ur current crush is the new girl in HR and all ur crushes in the future will be girls in HR.
12.) U secretly visit sites like jeevansathi.com< http://jeevansathi.com/ and shaadi.com
13.) U don’t go abroad anymore, but go 'on site'. And when U go 'on site' your mama, chacha and l'il cousin Chintu come to see u off.
14.) U spend the entire day reading forwards, smoking cigarettes, drinking tea/coffee and playing T.T. and then complain about the late working hours.
15.) Ur important 'meetings' usually comprise two or three people max, including yourself.
16.) U keep pressing Ctrl+Enter wondering why your gmail is not going.
17.) U secretly prepare for CAT only to find ur PL sitting behind you at the exam.
18.) Ur criteria for visiting a restaurant is whether it accepts 'Ticket restaurant' coupons or 'Sodexho' passes.
19.) U email ur mate who works at the desk next to U.
20.) U read this list and kept nodding & smiling.
21.) As U read this list, U r thinking of sending it to ur friends who are in IT.
To enhance your
knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom,
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Wealth and Wisdom
Monday, September 29, 2008
Engineer's Special--College memories
1. Some Basic definitions...
Engineering College: Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks.
Senior: Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback...
Fresher: Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...
Really Dumb Fresher: Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.
Really Really Dumb fresher: Guy who follows the senior to the canteen.
Ragging: The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.
Evasive action: Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)
Lectures: Waste of time. Physical presence is a must...only meant for sleeping, completing assignments & general TP
Tuitions: What you take when you don't waste enough time....
Professor: Person paid to put students to sleep.
Vernacular Prof: Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged with his own brand of English ("Now you check me our journal." "You Out get from class." "Are you Understand, Beta?”)
Practicals: 60 to 90 minutes in which you watch the girls do your experiment, and usually destroy a considerable array of lab equipment.
Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no girls in your group simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the equipment, and finally copy the readings.(from the girls of course...).
2. The Truth about exams....
Irony: The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.
Critical Calculation: Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the exam...
Re-verification: A cruel joke. (Results of which come after you give the KT exam).
3. An engineer's 10 engineering commandments of Life
1. Start study only during the preparatory leave.
2. Thou shalt never write thy assignments thyself.
3. Thou shalt begin writing thy journals only on the morning of submission.
4. Thou shalt treat all marks above 40 as bonus.
5. Thou shalt have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.
6. Thou shalt pass GRACEfully.
7. Thou shalt always be an OUTstanding student.
8. Thou shalt give thy attendance without being present...PROXY is a MUST
9. If thou can't convince them, confuse them.
10. Thou shalt start every sentence with a four-lettered word.
4. The Years of Engineering
F.E. Fond of Engineering
S.E. Sick of Engineering
T.E. Tired of Engineering
B.E. Balls to Engineering
Engineers Anthem:
Hum Honge All Clear,Honge AllC lear, Honge All Clear Ek Din, OH-HO, Mann me hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas, hum hoge all clear ek din
Top two Engineering Rumors:
'Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm'
'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, it’s been put up at BMS'
The most dreaded acronym for Engineers:
ATKT (After Trying Keep Trying)
The most important criteria while selecting an engineering college:
Girl to Boy ratio (if more than0 .025% then that college is engineers dream come true)
Engineers at work:
Assignments solved by one and then carrying out mass transfer operations throughout the class
The most important machine for Engineers:
Xerox Machine (Without which assignment completion wouldn't be possible)
The most important table in an Engineer's House:
The glass table (to carry out GT operations, during Night Duty.)
The only queue an Engineer is familiar with:
Submission Queue
An Engineer's favourite watch:
Bird Watch!
Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:
'What is this yaar, more than 70% of the paper was out of the syllabus'
'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history'
'I am failing....I got screwed royally'
5. Feeling after Completing Engineering:
Survived Engineering !!!!!!!!!!!
To enhance your
knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom,
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Wealth and Wisdom
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