Lets Laugh

A Singh walked into a Gujarati pharmacist and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.
The elderly woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and as she and her also widowed elderly sister owned the store, there were no males employed there. 
 
She then asked if she could help the gentleman. 
The Pehlwaan said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist. 
The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.The old sher agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have 
a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment, and 
I was wondering what you could give me for it".
"The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister, Kanta Behn."
When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the absolute best we can 
do is, 1/3 ownership in the business, a company car, free room & board, and 5,000 a month plus living expenses.

 ***********************************************************************

*One day, shortly after having her 9th baby, the good Irish lady ran into her parish priest. *
*He congratulated her on the new offspring then said, "Isn't having nine babies a little much?" *
*"Well," she said, "I don't know why I get pregnant so often, it must be something in the air." *
*"Yes," said the priest, "your legs!"

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pic courtesy : http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2009/8/3/128938219555075666.jpg, 

Rajni Mania

. Rajnikanth Rocks On...

1. Once a big stone obstructed Rajani's way. 
He kicked high in sky and now it is so called 
. 
. 
. 
. 

. 
. 
. 
. 
.The MOON 




2. Once when shooting on a beach in Tamil Nadu, Rajanikant kicked a stone..
Now that stone is known as 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
SRI LANKA 


3. Rajinikant participated in 100 meter race and obviously he came first...
But Einstein died after watching that... 
bcoz.. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
LIGHT came second... 


4.Once Rajinikant participated in Moto gp Bike race......
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
Don't even try to guess wat happened 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
Rajinikant won d race on neutral gear! 


5. Rajinikanth doesnt breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.


6. Once Rajinikant went to Bhopal for shooting and had a stomach upset.....and the result was..
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
BHOPAL GAS TRAGEDY... 


7. 1 day Rajinikant got angry on his sweeper boy., he kicked him so hard that he went flying in the sky with is broom...
2day that boy is famous as "HARRY POTTER"... 




8. Before tom cruise,rajnikant was approached for
the movie "mission impossible" 
but he refused 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
as he found the title insulting 


9. Once Rajnikanth was asked how he felt about the jokes made on him which were spreading through sms and internet.
To everyones surprise he started laughing and replied-Ennada Do you really think they are jokes?Error! Filename not specified.


10. Rajni once taught a child how to play

counter strike and that guy is now 
called.............. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
"OSAMA BIN LADEN" 

thats rajini mindit 





11. Once Dinosaurs borrowed money from Rajnikanth and refused to payhim back... .
. 
. 
. 
. 
....... 
. 

That was the last time anyone saw Dinosaurs 


12. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.



13. An e-mail was sent from Pune to Mumbai
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
Rajnikant stopped it in Lonavla ... : D 

14. as a kid Rajnikant maintained a diary of day to day activities,
today that diary called as. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
.. 
. 

Guinness Book Of World Records 



15. once Rajnikan taught a kid how to enter a house without ringing the doorbell....
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
today that kid is known as inspector Daya. 





16. Once a boy inserted A CD named rajnikanth
into his PC... 
Guess wot... 

. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
.His PC started Rotating around the CD rom 



17. Intel's new tag line for its processors ...
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
"Rajnikanth Inside" 

18. Rajnikant's school time homework is now known as
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
wikipedia 

19. Rajnikant was caught on d highway for speeding................
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
While walking 




20. Rajnikanth and Superman once had arm wrestled and the loser had to wear his Underwear over his pants..
. 
. 

. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
We all know who won 



21. Rajnikanth knows that Bingo Mad Angles is tasty from .
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
which angle. 

22. Once Rajnikant taught a boy how to kiss. Now that boy is known as '.
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
Emran Hashmi' 

23. Rajnikant can make two parallel lines.
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. Intersect each other. 





24. When Rajinikant croses the Road, the cars have to look
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
left and right before moving. 

25. After release of Robot, Rajnikanth gave Times of India 3 stars.



26. Rajnikanth calls VOLDEMORT by his name and Voldemort calls him as "u know who"Error! Filename not specified.


27. Rajnikanth goes to court and sentences the judge...


28. Rajnikanth kills harry potter in the 8th book.

29. Rajnikanth can kill Spiderman with BAYGON!!!


30. Time and tide, wait for Rajnikanth.....


31. Rajnikanth knows ...
: 
: 
Who let the dogs out !!! :D 


32. Rajnikanth was practicing for a spelling test... The rough sheet he used is known as ...
: 
: 
OXFORD DICTIONARY !! :D 

33. Rajnikanth has seen the face of the fat lady who owns the house in ...
: 
: 
TOM and JERRY !! :D Error! Filename not specified.

34. If Rajnikant was born 100 years back, Britishers would have fought to get independence from India !! :)


35. The ultimate RAJNI fact :

Even GHAJINI remebers RAJNI !!!!! 

Rajni Rox !!! :) 

36. People who set CAT paper will have to pass RAT paper from this year onwards.

Yes RAT paper.... 
: 
:
Rajnikant Aptitude Test !!! :) 


37. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack...
His heart lost..:-p 

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Just for fun........

There are 3 kinds of men in world:

Some remain single & see Wonders happen,

Some have girlfriends & make Wonders happen,

The rest get married & Wonder what happened !!

Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home. 

Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. 

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed. 

After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, 'Do you know what I miss most of all?' 

She asks, 'What?'

'Sex!!' he replies 

Mildred exclaims, 'Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!' 

'I know,' Harold says, 'but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while.' 

Well, I can oblige,' says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood. 

Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place.  Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K. 

She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's manhood! 

Furious, Mildred yelled, 'You two-timing son-of-a-bitch! What does Ethel have that I don't have?' 

Old Harold smiled happily and replied, 'Parkinson's.'

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a retired golfer in his late sixties and the other a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties. The circus owner tells them: "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer, so you two had better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?" 

The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet. 

The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired golfer and asks: "Can you top that?" The tough old golfer replies: "No problem, just get that lion out of there." 
************************************************************************************

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