A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact
that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next
thing he sees is an advertisement for a
guaranteed weight loss program. Guaranteed like heck, he thinks to himself. But let’s see what they
think they can do.
He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB
weight loss program. The
next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year
old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of
Nikes and a sign hanging around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, If you can catch me,
you can have me. Well, without a second
thought he takes off after her (like who wouldn't).
A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches
her and has
his way with her. After they are through
he kisses the girl one last time and
thinks to himself with a nod, I like the way this company does business.
For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same
thing happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs
himself and, sure enough, he has lost 10
pounds. Deciding that he likes his somewhat more slender physique, not to mention the method of
treatment, he calls the company
back and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 LB weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only
5 days seems like a lot, but he is
intrigued by what their workout schedule might
be like this time.
As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door.
When he answers it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed
in nothing but a pair of Reeboks and a
sign hanging around her neck. She is simply stunning, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She
introduces herself as a representative of
the weight loss company. The sign reads,
If you can catch me, you can have me.
He's out the door like a shot. This gal is in excellent
shape and it takes a while to catch her.
But when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. She is wonderful, the best he has ever had. He is really
looking forward to the next four days...
For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight. On the
sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably,
he has lost another 20 pounds. I love
this company, he thinks to himself, I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun.
Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke
and subscribe to the companies 7 day, 50 pound weight loss
program. Are you sure, sir? asks the
representative on the phone. This is our most rigorous program. Absolutely, says he, I love your program. haven't
felt this good in years!
The next day there comes a knock at his door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200
pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in
nothing but racing spikes and a sign
around his neck. He introduces himself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The
sign reads, if I can catch you, I can have you.
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