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Saturday, February 12, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Just for fun........
There are 3 kinds of men in world:
Some remain single & see Wonders happen,
Some remain single & see Wonders happen,
Some have girlfriends & make Wonders happen,
The rest get married & Wonder what happened !!
Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home.
Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.
One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed.
After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, 'Do you know what I miss most of all?'
She asks, 'What?'
'Sex!!' he replies
Mildred exclaims, 'Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!'
'I know,' Harold says, 'but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while.'
Well, I can oblige,' says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.
Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K.
She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's manhood!
Furious, Mildred yelled, 'You two-timing son-of-a-bitch! What does Ethel have that I don't have?'
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, 'Parkinson's.'
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a retired golfer in his late sixties and the other a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties. The circus owner tells them: "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer, so you two had better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired golfer and asks: "Can you top that?" The tough old golfer replies: "No problem, just get that lion out of there."
************************************************************************************
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired golfer and asks: "Can you top that?" The tough old golfer replies: "No problem, just get that lion out of there."
************************************************************************************
To enhance your
knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom,
keep visiting Health, Wealth and Wisdom
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
TENSION:
The moment you are in tension
You will lose your Attention
You are in Total Confusion
You’ll feel Irritation
You’ll spoil Personal Relation
Ultimately, you won't get Cooperation
You’ll have Complication
Your BP may also raise caution
You may have to take Medication
Instead, Understand the Situation
Try to think about the Solution
Problems will be solved by Discussion
This will work out better in your Profession
Don’t think it’s a free Suggestion
It is only for your prevention
If you understand my Intention
You’ll never again invite Tension!!!
To enhance your
knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom,
keep visiting Health, Wealth and Wisdom
pic courtesy : http://everyview.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/high-tension.jpg,
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Tuesday, February 1, 2011
If u cross the BORDER....................
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Monday, December 13, 2010
Big people....big problems
Mukesh Ambani in his 27 storeyed home...... Mukeshbhai gets up from his bed room on 15th floor, takes a swim in the swimming pool on 17th floor, has breakfast on the 19th floor, dresses up for office on 14th floor, collects his files and office bag from his personal office on 21st floor, wishes bye to Nitaben on 16th floor, says ‘see you’to his children on 13th floor, and goes down on 3rd floor to self drive his 2.5 crore Mercedes to office, but then, he finds out that he has forgotten the car keys upstairs.
But on which floor? 15th, 17th, 19th, 14th, 21st, 16th or 13th ? He phones all his servants, cooks,maids, secretaries, pool attendants, gym trainers, lift attendantsetc. on all the floors. There is a hectic search and lot of running around on all the floors, but the key is not traceable . Fed up, after half an hourof frantic search, Mukeshbhai leaves in a huff in a chauffeur driven Ikon car. At 3.30 P.M. late in the afternoon it is discovered that 4 days back , a temporary replacement maid had washed Mukeshbhai's pant and hung it to dry on a string in the balcony of 16th floor, with car keys in the pant pocket. The key had blown away somewhere in the high winds at 16th floor level and was never found. This was detected because of Nitaben's habit of checking clothes given for ironing personally. Meanwhile, after 3 days of the incident, Nitaben with all irritation writ large on her face, complained to Mukeshbhai asking him where he was roaming till 3 A.M. last night … Mukesh replied that he was at home all night. "Then why did the helicopter land in the terrace at 3 A.M? I was so much worried…I could not sleep whole night," quizzed Nitaben. "Oh That helicopter….That helicopter came from Germany , sent by Mercedes people to deliver the duplicate car key".......mumbled Mukesh. Moral of the story : Stay in 1 BHK / 2 BHK flat only. The Least-Problem Home. J
To enhance your
knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom,
keep visiting Health, Wealth and Wisdom
pic courtesy : http://www.choices.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/h-antilla.jpg,
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