One
day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My
elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen,
you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a
diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample
and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten
seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack
deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He
deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.
He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer
ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That
evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began
wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool
sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated
into the mixture for good measure.
Jack
hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten
dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints
the following:
1. Your
tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
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