The Company You Keep

It is better to be alone, than in the wrong company. Tell me who your best friends are, and I will tell you who you are.

If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl, but, if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.

"A mirror reflects a person's face, but what they are really like is shown by the kind of friends they choose."

The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate - for both good and bad reasons.

The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.

Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.

An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.

As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on.

They will want you to stay where they are. Friends that don't help you climb; will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision not choke your dream.

Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you.

Consider this: never receive counsel from unproductive people.

Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how.

Not everyone has a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person.

Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere.

With some people you spend an evening. With others you invest it.

Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life.

Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships.

Make choices wisely, for they will influence your life always.

Marriages

Marriage - Part ITypical macho man married typical good-looking lady. And after the wedding, he laid down the following Rules:
“I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, Fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my Old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about It. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, “No, that's fine with me. Just Understand that there will be sex here at seven O'clock every night......... Whether you're here or not.”

(DAMM SHE'S GOOD!)

Marriage (Part II)Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, " When you die, I'm getting you a Headstone that reads:
“Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever”

“Yeah?" she replies. “When you die, I'm getting you a Headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last”

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
Marriage (Part III)Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and Says, “And you are no good in bed either,"
And storms out of the house.

After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the Phone after many rings, and the irritated husband Says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?”

She says, “I was in bed."

“In bed this early, doing what?"

“Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his Achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, “Mother of Six" in spite of her Objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his Voice, “Shall we go home 'Mother of six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of Discretion, shouts right back, “Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
Marriage (Part V) the Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early Morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first
To break the silence (and LOSE),

He wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the Man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and See why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a Piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

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Mahatma Gandhi said so………..

He, who concentrates on anyone thing with singleness of purpose, will ultimately acquire the capacity to do everything.

Nothing can work without rules. The entire solar system would go to pieces if there were even a momentary breach of the rules governing it.

Even-mindedness is the best of all learning.

The true mark of success in life is the growth of tenderness and maturity in a man. In order, to know himself man must come out of his shell and view himself dispassionately.

Evil by itself has no legs to stand up.

A man is but the products of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.

If I have the belief that I can do it, I will surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and wiser might err.

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What you have to say about these intelligent people?

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

Also read How does the Stock Market work?

You may also like to read How important is TV for you? 

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from own his bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked at the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each man in the line-up to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

Must read Greediness pays badly

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!

In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)

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Here Are 5 Toughest Questions That Women Ask Men

There are five questions that women should never, ever ask a guy, according to an article in an issue of Sassy magazine.

The five questions are:

1 - "What are you thinking?"

2 - "Do you love me?"

3 - "Do I look fat?"

4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"

5 - "What would you do if I died?"

What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answered properly, which is to say dishonestly. For example:

1 - "What are you thinking?" The proper answer to this question, of course is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you." Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things:

a - Football

b - Baseball

c - How fat you are.

d - How much prettier she is than you.

e - How he would spend the insurance money if you died.

According to the Sassy article, the best answer to this stupid question came from Al Bundy, of Married with Children, who was asked it by his wife, Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking instead of thinking."

The other questions also have only one right answer but many wrong answers:

2 - "Do you love me?" The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear." Wrong answers include:

a - I suppose so.

b - Would it make you feel better if I said yes?

c - That depends on what you mean by "love".

d - Does it matter?

e - Who, me?

Also Read: 6 Funny Jokes To Explain Why A Person Should Think Before Speaking 

3 - "Do I look fat?" The correct male response to this question is too confidently and emphatically state, "No, of course not" and then quickly leave the room. Wrong answers include:

a - I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either.

b - Compared to what?

c - A little extra weight looks good on you.

d - I've seen fatter.

e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.

4 - "Do you think she's prettier than me?" The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were staring at so hard that you almost cause a traffic accident or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much prettier." Wrong answers include:

a - Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.

b - I don't know how one goes about rating such things.

c - Yes, but I bet you have a better personality.

d - Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner.

e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.

5 - "What would you do if I died?" Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would perforce hurl myself under the front tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way." This might be the stupidest question of the lot, as is illustrated by the following stupid joke:

"Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?"

"Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband.

"Why do you ask such a question?"

"Would you remarry?" persevered the wife. "No, of course not, dear" said the husband. "Don't you like being married?" said the wife. "Of course I do, dear" he said.

"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

"All right," said the husband, "I'd remarry."

"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.

"Yes" said the husband.

"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause.

"Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband.

"I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear my old clothes?"

"I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband.

"Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"

"Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do."

"Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too."

"Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed."

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This Former American President Loved To Make Fun Of English Language

Below are some statements spoken by a former USA President. If you try a little, you can hear English language crying:

1) "The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."

2) "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

3) "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."

4)"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

5) "The future will be better tomorrow."

6) "We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."

7) "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."

8) "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

9) "Public speaking is very easy."

10)"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

11) "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

12) "For NASA, space is still a high priority."

13) "Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teaches our children."

14) "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

15) "It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."

Can you guess who is he, do let us know in the comments section, the correct answer will be published on 31st May 2019.

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Classic definitions and cool meanings

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic: A book which people praise, but does not read.

13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist: - A person who says that 'O' is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father: A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest except that he got caught.

28. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30. Doctor: a person, who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. More appropriate sequence: ill, pill, bill, will.

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