Why are wives more dangerous than mafia?

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either ur money or life... The wives want both!



Marriage is like a public toilet Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.



No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied
with 4 things in life.
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because there is always a better model in neighborhood.



Searching these keywords on Google `How to tackle wife?`
Google search result, `Good day sir, Even we are searching`.



Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right. It
only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!



Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house for 5 years.Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself!


Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.



A friend recently explained why he refuses to get married.
He says the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs.



It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she is in love the most; and when a man does that... the slide show begins.



It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers to protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home --------- A Good Maid!



Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils,
but my wife is the queen
--
--
--
--
--
--
of them.

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Happy Basant Panchmi to everyone

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Secrets of being successful in Office.......

received it in an email....thought of sharing it...hope u enjoy

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Rainbow of Friendship

Once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel. All claimed that they were the best. The most important. The most useful. The favorite. 

 

Green said:

"Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Without me, all animals would die. Look over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority."

Blue interrupted: 

"You only think about the earth, but consider the sky and the sea. It is the water that is the basis of life and drawn up by the clouds from the deep sea. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would all be nothing."

Yellow chuckled:

"You are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety, and warmth into the world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, the stars are yellow. Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me there would be no fun."

Orange started next to blow her trumpet: 

"I am the color of health and strength. I may be scarce, but I am precious for I serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangoes, and papayas. I don't hang around all the time, but when I fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of you."

Red could stand it no longer he shouted out: 

"I am the ruler of all of you. I am blood - life's blood! I am the color of danger and of bravery. I am willing to fight for a cause. I bring fire into the blood. Without me, the earth would be as empty as the moon. I am the color of passion and of love, the red rose, the poinsettia and the poppy."

Purple rose up to her full height: 

She was very tall and spoke with great pomp: "I am the color of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs, and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey."

Finally Indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others,
but with just as much determination: 

" Think of me. I am the color of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me you all become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace."

And so the colors went on boasting, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Their quarreling became louder and louder. Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening thunder rolled and boomed. Rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colors crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another for comfort.

In the midst of the clamor, Rain began to speak:
"You foolish colors, fighting amongst yourselves, each trying to dominate the rest. Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose, unique and different? Join hands with one another and come to me." 

Doing as they were told, the colors united and joined hands.

The Rain continued:
"From now on, when it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of color as a reminder that you can all live in peace. The Rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow." And so, whenever a good rain washes the world, and a Rainbow appears in the sky, let us remember to appreciate one another." 
 

Friendship is like a rainbow:
Red like an apple, sweet to the core.
Orange, like a burning flame, never dying out. 
Yellow like the sun that brightens your day. 
Green like a plant that keeps on growing.
Blue like the water that is so pure. 
Purple like a flower that is ready to bloom. 
Indigo like the dreams that fill your heart.

Thank you for the blessing of our friendship 

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The Giraffe Test

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? 

 The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2 How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? 

 Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3.The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animal attend .... Except one. Which animal does not attend?

 Correct Answer : The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. Didn't you just put him in there? This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

 Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.


According to  Anderson  Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the  professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers.  Anderson  Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.


Now make all your smart friends read this and frustate them

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Does GOD really exist?

The professor of a university challenged his students with this question.

"Did God create everything that exists?"

A student answered bravely, "Yes, he did".

The professor then asked, "If God created everything, then he created evil. Since evil exists (as noticed by our own actions), so God is evil.

The student couldn't respond to that statement causing the professor to conclude that he had "proved" that "belief in God" was a fairy tale, and Another student raised his hand and asked the professor, "May I pose a question? ", "Of course" answered the professor.

The young student stood up and asked: "Professor does Cold exist?"
The professor answered, "What kind of question is that? Of course cold exists...haven't you ever been cold?"

The young student answered, "In fact sir, Cold does not exist. According to the laws of Physics, what we consider cold, in fact is the absence of heat. Anything is able to be studied as long as it transmits
energy (heat). Absolute Zero is the total absence of heat, but cold does not exist. What we have done is create a term to describe how we feel if we don't have body heat or we are not hot."

"And, does Dark exist?" he continued. "Again you're wrong, Sir. Darkness does not exist
either. Darkness is in fact simply the absence of light. Light can be studied, darkness can not.
Darkness cannot be broken down. A simple ray of light tears the darkness and illuminates the surface where the light beam finishes.

Dark is a term that we humans have created to describe what happens when there's lack of light."

Finally, the student asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?"

The professor replied, "Of course it exists, as I mentioned at the beginning, we see violations, crimes
and violence anywhere in the world, and those things are evil."
The student responded, "Sir, Evil does not exist. Just as in the previous cases, Evil is a term which man has created to describe the result of the absence of God's presence in the hearts of man.

After this, the professor bowed down his head, and didn't answer back.

The young man's name was ALBERT EINSTEIN.

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A Beautiful Love story

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter 
writing or sign language.) One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say "my darling". but at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this, he waited three 
more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years 
to 5). But at the end of these five years, he realized that he had to 
ask her to marry him. So he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking. 
Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. 
Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in 
that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her 
lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily, "My 
darling, I love you! Will you marry me?" And the princess tucked a 
strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in 
wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said: .. ... ... ... scroll down 

...... ... ... ... ... ... ... ........ 
  
  
Well, guess what she said ......... .. ... ... ... ... ... ....... 
  
  
come on, guess what could she have ... ... ... ... ... ... 
  
said.............. .. ... ... ... ... ... ........... 

well, she said.............. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... 

. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. 

...... ... ... ... ... ... ... ........ 
  
...... ... ... ... ... ... ... ........ 

...... ... ... ... ... ... ... ........ 

...... ... ... ... ... ... ... ........ 

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...... ... ... ... ... ... ... ........ 
  
  
"Pardon"? 

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