Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Funny quotes and Why men are happier???


Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. - Albert Einstein
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
- Jean Cocturan
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
- Darrin Weinberg
Life is pleasant.
  • Death is peaceful.
  • It's the transition that's troublesome.

  • Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
  • Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
  • It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.
  • Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.
  • Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
  • Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
  • Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
  • The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
  • Don’t worry that the world ends today; it’s already tomorrow in Australia!

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Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
  • Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  • Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
  • You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
  • Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
  • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
  • You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.


Tags : pregnant, chocolate, Albert Einstein, Men, Phone, work

pic courtesy : pic courtesy:http://cdemar22.com, 

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Marriage--what is it?


























1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.
4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffeRING.
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.
6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.
7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.
16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.
18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but they still stay together.
19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.
21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.
22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.
23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, And THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.
25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on.
26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.
27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.
28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

To enhance your knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom, keep visiting Health, Wealth and Wisdom

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tags : marriage, wife, husband, ring, money, house
pic courtesy: http://www.samedaymarriage.com, 

Start dieting when.....

A picture of you got so heavy and fell off the wall!
You are diagnosed with the flesh-eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live!
You put mayonnaise on an aspirin!
You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts!
Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."!!
You ran away and they had to use all four sides of the milk carton for your picture!
One day when you got in a fight and the person fighting you got lost in you!
You eat cereal out of a satellite dish!
Your friends exercise by jogging around you!
You sat on a Play station 3 and it turned into a PSP!
You are measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...!!
When you farted, you launched yourself into orbit!!
When drivers had to swerve to avoid hitting you on the road, they ran out of Petrol!
You could be the eighth continent!
When you auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark, you got the part of the big Rolling Ball!
You show up on radar!
You fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!
The firemen use you as a safety catch!!

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tags : Dieting, farted, Grand Canyon, Play Station, Petrol, 

pic courtesy : pic courtesy:http://www.yell.com, 

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Just try to remember these points...


1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.
2. Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be.
3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.
4. Whatever you are willing to put up with is exactly what you will have.
5. Success stops when you do.
6. When your ship comes in.... make sure you are willing to unload it.
7. You will never have it all together.
8. Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip!
9. The biggest lie on the planet when I get what I want I will be happy.
10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.
11. I've learned that ultimately, 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.
12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.
13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.
14. We often fear the thing we want the most.
15. He or she who laughs......lasts
16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
17. Look for opportunities...not guarantees.
18. Life is what's coming....not what was.
19. Success is getting up one more time.
20. Now is the most interesting time of all.
21. When things go wrong.....don't go with them.

To enhance your knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom, keep visiting Health, Wealth and Wisdom

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tags : winners, losers, Life, laughs, Opportunities, deadline
pic courtesy : pic courtesy:http://eddyheedayat.files.wordpress.com, 

Father's Day Special



"The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and I call him Dad!”-- Anonymous
"A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. “-- Enid Bagnold
"The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them.”-- Confucius
"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love the most is soap-on-a-rope."-- Bill Cosby
"You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together.”-- Erika Cosby
"Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee as fondly as he? He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, and joined in thy innocent glee. "-- Margaret Courtney
"Role modeling is the most basic responsibility of parents. Parents are handing life's scripts to their children, scripts that in all likelihood will be acted out for the rest of the children's lives."-- Stephen R. Covey
"What a dreadful thing it must be to have a dull father.”-- Mary Mapes Dodge
"To her the name of father was another name for love.”-- Fanny Fern
"Parents can tell but never teach, unless they practice what they preach."-- Arnold Glasow
"When Charles first saw our child Mary, he said all the proper things for a new father. He looked upon the poor little red thing and blurted, 'She's more beautiful than the Brooklyn Bridge. "--Helen Hayes
"To be a successful father...there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.”-- Ernest Hemingway
"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other."-- Burton Hillis
"I am not caused by my history--my parents, my childhood and development. These are mirrors in which I may catch glimpses of my image."-- James Hillman
"There are fathers who do not love their children; there is no grandfather who does not adore his grandson.”-- Victor Hugo
"You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was."-- Irish Proverb
"Any woodsman can tell you that in a broken and sundered nest, one can hardly find more than a precious few whole eggs. So it is with the family."-- Thomas Jefferson
"My dear father; my dear friend; the best and wisest man I ever knew, who taught me many lessons and showed me many things as we went together along the country by-ways."-- Sarah Orne Jewett
"When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.”-- Jewish Proverb
"The longer we live the more we think and the higher the value we put on friendship and tenderness towards parents and friends."-- Samuel Johnson
"He was all questions. But small boys expect their fathers to be walking lexicons, to do two jobs at once, to give replies as they are working, whether laying stones or building models...digging up a shrub, or planting flower beds...Boys have a right to ask their fathers questions...Fathers are the powers that be, and with their power and might must shelter, guard, and hold and teach and love...All men with sons must learn to do these things...Too soon, too soon, a small son grows and leaves his father's side to test his manhood's wings. "--Roy Z. Kemp
"My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," my dad would reply, "We’re raising boys."--Harmon Killebrew
"Up to a point a man's life is shaped by environment, heredity, and movements and changes in the world about him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, "This I am today; that I will be tomorrow."-- Louis L'Amour
"A man knows he is growing old because he begins to look like his father."-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
"The love of a father is one of nature's greatest masterpieces."
"The thing to remember about fathers is, they're men. A girl has to keep it in mind: They are dragon--seekers, bent on improbable rescues. Scratch any father, you find someone chock--full of qualms and romantic terrors, believing change is a threat - like your first shoes with heels on, like your first bicycle I it took such months to get. "-- Phyllis Mcginley
"It is much easier to become a father than to be one."-- Kent Nerburn (Letters to My Son: Reflections on Becoming a Man)
"As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live."-- Pope John Paul II
"He who is taught to live upon little owes more to his father's wisdom than he who has a great deal left him does to his father's care.”-- William Penn
"The fundamental defect with fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them.”-- Bertrand Russell
"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings. Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what's been taught them."-- Jonas Salk
"I've been very blessed. My parents always told me I could be anything I wanted. When you grow up in a household like that, you learn to believe in yourself."-- Rick Schroeder
"It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.”-- Anne Sexton
"It is a wise father that knows his own child."-- William Shakespeare
"My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately”-- George Bernard Shaw
"It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping."-- John Sinor
"The family--that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to."-- Dodie Smith
"All the feeling which my father could not put into words was in his hand--any dog, child or horse would recognize the kindness of it."-- Freya Stark
"Children learn to smile from their parents."-- Shinichi Suzuki
"Cultivate your own capabilities, your own style. Appreciate the members of your family for who they are, even though their outlook or style may be miles different from yours. Rabbits don't fly. Eagles don't swim. Ducks look funny trying to climb. Squirrels don't have feathers. Stop comparing. There's plenty of room in the forest."-- Chuck Swindoll
"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. "-- Mark Twain

tags : Mark Twain, George Bernard Shaw, William Shakespeare, Victor Hugo

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pic courtesy : http://www.caribbean-media.info, pic courtesy:/www.trevorromain.com, 

Friday, June 13, 2008

This is how Gals rate guyz


Girls' relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves. It's not just about boyfriends, we're talking about guy friends that gals have.
Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are you confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams come closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn't fit to wear Jeetendra's white shoes? Here's a ready reckoner for you:

* % just a friend % *
Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, "Oh Rahul, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??"
Rahul: "Where are you going Sanjana??"
Sanjana: "None of your business" and bangs the phone. (Useless fellow.Hmmph!).

* % Good Friend % *
You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that but I try using you when I really need you.
Rahul calls: "Hi Sanjana",
Sanjana: "Hi Rahul. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye"
(Sanjana eventually calls back after two days)
Sanjana: "What do you want Rahul? Why did you call that day?".
Rahul: "Generally".
Sanjana: "Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye."
Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.

* % Very good friend % *
Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl, she will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone. Basically, she wants to talk to you and you are special to her.
Sanjana: "You know Rahul, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn't sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn't like me anymore and yesterday I saw him with another girl".
Rahul: "Who is Shekhar??"
Sanjana: "My boyfriend."
Rahul: Oh! Ok. :-(

* % Best Friend % *
You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can't live without you and don't be mistaken, you are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun.
Rahul Shopping. Rahul Movie. Rahul Coffee Rahul, you pay. I am having fun.
Rahul is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.
Sanjana: "But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends
Rahul. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that."
Rahul: What?? (Rahul drinks all night).

* % Best of the Bestest Friends % *
Ok now you are really special, you are dad-cum-boyfriend- cum-brother- cum-everything, and ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl.
You take her around.
You make her project.
You do her assignments.
You are allowed to take her doggie around.
You can hold hands on the beach.
You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along).
But but but... don't be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 5 times the salary you earn and has a posh flat in an up class area.
Sanjana: "Hi Rahul. I am getting engaged to Shekhar. Shekhar this is Rahul, he is my bestest friend".
Rahul: Hi Shekhar . (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Rahul's wrist).
Rahul is now heart broken and wrist broken.

* % Boyfriend %*
Uh... No comments dude. You're already Gone!
For all Rahul type guys? Make sure that you tell Sanjana about Mamta and about Maya? and about Tina also?
This will open Sanjana's eyes!!!!

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Thursday, June 12, 2008

Basic rules followed in New Delhi

1. The Other Side Law:
If my side of the road has a traffic jam, then I can start driving on the wrong side of the road, and all incoming cars will be rerouted via Meerut.
2. The Queue Nahin Rule:
If there is a queue of many people, no one will notice me sneaking into the front as long as I am looking the other way.
3. The Mind over Matter Law:
If a red light is not working, four cars from different directions can easily pass through one another.
4. The Auto Axiom:
If I indicate which way I am going to turn my vehicle, it is an information security leak.
5. The In Spit of Thing:
The more I lean out of my car or bus, and the harder I spit, the stronger the roads become.
6. The Cinema Hall Fact:
If I get a call on my mobile phone, the film automatically goes into pause mode.
7. The Brotherhood Law:
If I want to win an argument, I need only to repeatedly suggest that the other person has illicit relations with his sister.
8. The Baraat Right:
When I'm on the road to marriage, all the roads in the city belong to me. To ME.
9. The Heart of Things:
If I open enough buttons on my shirt, the pretty girl at the bus stop can see through my maldeformed chest into the depths of my soul.
10. The Name Game:
It is very important for the driver behind me to memorize the nicknames of my children.
11. Parking up The Wrong Tree:
When I double-park my car, the road automatically widens so that the traffic is not affected.
12. The Chill Bill Move:
When I park and block someone else's car I am giving him a chance to pause, relax, chill and take a few moments off from his rushed day.
13. The Ogling Stare:
If you don't ogle and drool at every hot Chic that passes by, you're gay.
14. The Bus Karo Law:
If I stop my bus at the correct place near the bus stop, the city will explode and blow into 6 million pieces.
15. The VIP Rule:
There are only 6 important persons in this city-Me, I, Myself, Main, Mainu, Assi.

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pic courtesy:http://www.sights-and-culture.com, 

अपरा एकादशी 2026: अनंत पुण्य और आत्मशुद्धि का पावन पर्व

आज, 13 मई 2026 को मनाई जा रही अपरा एकादशी भगवान विष्णु को समर्पित अत्यंत पवित्र और फलदायी एकादशी मानी जाती है। हिंदू पंचांग के अनुसार यह ज्...