Wednesday, July 8, 2009

A lesson for lifetime....


A young man, a student in one of the universities, was one day taking a walk with a professor, who was commonly called the students' friend for his kindness to those who waited on his instructions.

As they went along, they saw lying in the path a pair of old shoes, which were supposed to belong to a poor man who was working in a field close by, and who had nearly finished his day's work . . .

Student turned to the professor, saying: "Let us play the man a trick:We will hide his shoes, and hide ourselves behind those bushes, and wait to see his perplexity when he cannot find them ..."

"My young friend," answered the professor, "We should never amuse ourselves at the expense of the poor . . . But you are rich, and may give yourself a much greater pleasure by means of this poor man. Put a coin in each shoe, and then we will hide ourselves and watch how this affects him."

The student did so and they both placed themselves behind the bushes close by. The poor man soon finished his work, and came across the field to the path where he had left his coat and shoes . . .

While putting on his coat he slipped his foot into one of his shoes, but feeling something hard, he stooped down to feel what it was, and found the coin. Astonishment and wonder were seen upon his countenance.

He gazed upon the coin, turned it around and looked at it again and again.He then looked around him on all sides, but no person was to be seen. He now put the money into his pocket, and proceeded to put on the other shoe; but his surprise was doubled on finding the other coin . . .
His feelings overcame him . . . He fell upon his knees, looked up to heaven and uttered aloud a fervent thanksgiving in which he spoke of his wife, sick and helpless, and his children without bread, whom this timely bounty, from some unknown hand, would save from perishing . . .

The student stood there deeply affected, and his eyes filled with tears.

"Now," said the professor, are you not much better pleased than if you had played your intended trick?"
The youth replied, "You have taught me a lesson which I will never forget. .. I feel now the truth of these words, which I never understood before: "It's more blessed to give than to receive."

If you want happiness... .For a lifetime - help someone . . .

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DID YOU KNOW THESE MEANINGS……
CRICKET : Gol guttam lakad battam de danadan pratiyogita

CRICKET TEST MATCH : Pakad dandu, maar mandu, de danaadan pratiyogita

TABLE TENNIS : Lakdi ke phalak shetra pe Le takaatak de takaatak

LAWN TENNIS : Harit Ghaas par Le tada tad, de tada tad

LIGHT BULB : Vidyut Prakashak Kanch golak

TIE : Kanth Langoti

MATCH BOX : Ragdampatti Agni Utpaadan Peti

TRAFFIC SIGNAL : Aavat Jaavat Suchak Jhandaa

TEA : Dugdh Jal Mishrit Sharkara Yukt Parvatiya(pahaadi) Booti

TRAIN : Sahasra Chakra Louh Path Gaamini

ALL ROUTE PASS : Yatr Tatr Sarvatr Gaman Aagya Patr

RAILWAY SIGNAL : Loh Path Gamini Suchak Yantra

RAILWAY SIGNAL : Agni Rath Aava Gaman Soochak Pattika

RAILWAY SIGNAL : Louh path gaamini aawagaman suchak yantra

RAILWAY STATION : Bhabhka Adda

BUTTON : Ast Vyast Vastra Niyantrak

MOSQUITO : Gunjanhaari Manav Rakt Pipasu Jeev

CIGERETTE : Shweta patra mandit dhumra shalakha
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Monkey

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then grabs some sliced limes and eats them.

Then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole! "
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.
"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks."No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. " He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first..."

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Thursday, July 2, 2009

SMART WOMAN.........



SMART WOMAN

Barbara Walters, of Television's 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. From Ms . Walters' vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands, and are happy to maintain the old custom.Ms . Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'The woman looked Miss Walters straight in the eyes, and withouthesitation said, 'Land Mines.'

Moral of the story is (no matter what language you speak and where you go):
BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE'S A SMART WOMAN
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FAMILY PLANNING

After having their 11th child, Laloo & Rabri decided that was enough. So then Laloo went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife did not want any more children.The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem.

The doctor instructed him to go home, get a Diwali bomb, light it, put it in a empty Coke can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.Laloo said to the doctor, "I'm the smartest man in Bihar, but I don't see how putting a Diwali atom bomb in a Coke can next to my ear is going to help me with my problem."

So the couple drove to Delhi to get a second opinion. The Delhi physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed by their Medical records that they were from Bihar.This doctor instead told Laloo to go home and get a Diwali atom bomb, light it, place it in a Coke can and hold it to his ear and count to 10.

Figuring that both learned physicians knew what they were talking about and couldn't be wrong, Laloo went home, lit a atom bomb, put it in a coke can. He held it up to his ear and began to count with his fingers on his left hand : "1,2,3, 4,5" At which point he paused, placed the coke can between his legs and resumed counting on the other hand.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------When your hut's on fire

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. . Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions.

One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, "God! How could you do this to me?" Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

The Moral of This Story: It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God

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Monday, June 29, 2009

Men--are we so bad? Ladies tell me...

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.

To attract a man, wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
Women like quiet men because they think they are listening.

On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.

The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will see a man who can't get his pants off!

Don't kick a man when he's down unless you're certain he won't get up.

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Man who sneezes without tissues takes matters into his own hands. (yuck)

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.

If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children." -- they leave skid marks. This works whether a man or woman says it.

There are easier things in life than finding a good man. Like Nailing Jello to a tree for instance.

Mankind is stupid. If you forget, they will remind you.

Men are like fish. Neither would get in trouble if they kept their mouths shut

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Thursday, June 25, 2009

21 things an Indian does after returning from abroad...



21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.

19. Sprays duo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate". Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven OhFour Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible(but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, YZee(but never says Zed)

11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY,says "Oh! British Style!!!!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.

6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he isexperiencing it for the first time.5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

4. Looks speciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.Few more important

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries toroll the bag on Indian Roads.

Ultimate one1. Tries to begin conversation with"In US ...." or "When I was in US..."

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Now, can you just believe this? Read it till end...


In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed tobeat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of the thumb'

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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled'Gentlemen Only....Ladies Forbidden'.. ..and thus the word GOLF enteredinto the English language

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

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Coca-Cola was originally green

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It is impossible to lick your elbow.

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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer

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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:Spades - King David Hearts, Charlemagne – Clubs, Alexander - the Great,Diamonds - Julius Caesar

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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321

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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs inthe air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg inthe air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. Ifthe horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of naturalcauses.

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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boatname requested?A. Obsession

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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to gountil you would find the letter 'A'?A. One thousand

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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, andlaser printers all have in common?A. All were invented by women

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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?A. Honey

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In Shakespeare' s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bedfirmer to sleep on.. Hence the phrase...... ... 'goodnight, sleep tight.'

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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for amonth after the wedding, the bride's father would supply hisson-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer andbecause their calendar was lunar based, this period was called thehoney month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in oldEngland , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'

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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked intothe rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill,they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is thephrase inspired by this practice.

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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

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Now....Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch atCmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in aword are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteerbe in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can stillraed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mni d deos notraed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh?

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Monday, June 22, 2009

Water..can you live without it?



There is an item song from a movie which talks about Delhi’s winter (Dilli ki sardi), I don’t exactly remember the name of the movie bit I do remember the sizzling moves and sexy expressions of Amrita Arora and the dress that she wore in the song was so small as if her body isn’t affected by the Dilli ki sardi at all.
I don’t know what she will say about Dilli ki garmi but this time Delhi’s summer season is getting unbearable and as I have read in newspaper that monsoon will 45% less this time, it is increasing my tension.
Well jokes apart, I just want to bring your attention towards the growing water scarcity problem that is now a very common problem not only in big cities like Delhi but in small towns as well. The water scarcity problem is directly proportional to the temperature of the country, as the temp increases water problem also increases. I have tried to list some methods to tackle this problem, if you have any, please add to the list:

Water Harvesting—water harvesting is a method through which we can capture the rain water. Rain water can be termed as the primary source of water which fills our secondary source of water like rivers, ponds, lakes. We can collect the rain water by digging soak pits in our houses or by using hand pumps and by boring wells. This way we can utilize the rain water which will help us in solving our water problem.

Water recharging—this is a process in which water is not allowed to penetrate the land and it is stopped on the surface itself, and this can be done by making lakes and properly maintaining them.

Water management- it simply states that water should be used in a proper manner and it shouldn’t be wasted. For example, while brushing our teeth or shaving we should make sure that water is not running from tap unnecessarily, our car can be cleaned by a wet cloth and it doesn’t need buckets of water everyday, use of buckets for taking bath rather than bath tubs or showers. I have seen people who waste the resources and if stopped there answer is that they are paying the bills, so what is the problem, well may be in the future they wont need to pay any bills coz there may be no water to be used by them. Guys, be an asset to the society rather than being a liability.

Planting trees—I think that is an answer to our every ecological problem. Don’t run in the whole city to plant trees but at least you can plant trees in your own locality and make it lush green. Make your locality an example so that others can take a lesson from it.
Just ask one question to yourself..can you live without water? Definitely you can’t live without water, so save water or use it intelligently.

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Friday, June 19, 2009

STORY BEHIND YOUR DATE OF BIRTH....


If U were born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th of any month U r number 1....

If U were born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month then U r number 2...

If U were born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th of any month then U r number 3...

If U were born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month then U r number 4...

If U were born on the 5th, 14th, 23rd of any month then U r number 5...

If U were born on the 6th,15th,24th of any month then U r number 6...

If U were born on the 7th,16th,25th of any month then U r number 7...

If U were born on the 8th,17th,26th of any month then U r number 8...

If U were born on the 9th,18th,27th of any month then U r number 9...


Number 1

You are smart, straight talking, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest, Jealous on competing basis, kind hearted, angry, friendly, authorities, Famous person...always want to be and regarded as first on people Position, they are often like to be independent, will never be under Others, self confident people! You are most likely to fall in love in the younger age, but will get Marry when you mature! You are likely to have problems with people who have opposite views And you are most likely to take revenge over your Enemies in a long time basis. You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future. If you are guy you will be very popular that everybody will have mental attraction and respect at you. You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of the parliament because you are positive and Well talented in numerous issues!! But in your life you will always have some people who will work hard To bring you & your name down. This is undercover!! Coz of your smart behavior you will be hated by some People too... Your family life is very cool, you will have a very nice partner & Wonderful children... You are pioneer, independent & original... Your best match is 4,6,8 good match is 3,5,7 !!!


Number 2

No matter what, you will be loved by every one coz your ruler is the Moon and every one loves the Moon. Well.. You are a person who day dream a lot, You have very low-self confidence, you need back up for every move in your life, you Are very much unpredictable. Means you do change according to time and circumstances, Kind a selfish, have a very strong sense of musical, artistic talent, verbal communication. Your attitudes are like the Moon, comes to gloom and fade away so everybody can expect Changes in you. You can be a next Mahatma Gandhi who does peace love or you can be a Hitler who wants to destroy the man kind and peace (I mean in the community and your own home). If you really have a deep thought about your own believe in God you can Feel the difference which will make you stronger! Most of the time your Words are a kind of would be happening true! So without any knowledge You can predict the situation. You will become poets, writers, any Artistic business people! You are not strong in love, so you will be there and here till you get Marry.. If U r a girl you will be a responsible woman in the whole Family. If U r a man you will involve in fights & arguments in the family or Vice-versa. Means you will sacrifice your life for the goodness sake of Your family...You are gentle , intuitive with a broad vision, a power Behind the scenes, well balanced People!!! Your best match is 2 ,5 ,9 no other people can put up with you !!!


Number 3

You are a person of hard hearted, selfish most of the times, religious, Loves to climb up in your life. You always tend to have lots of problems Within your family in the early stages but you will put up with everything.. You have the strong word power, pretty happy face.. So wherever you go always You have got what you wanted!!! And from the birth always wanted to work hard in order To achieve something.. You will not get Anything without hard work! When you reach a man/ woman age you want other younger Once to listen to you because you want younger people to respect people older than them. You do set so many examples to others. Generally you are not a cool person. It ' s not easy thing dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you like someone ' s attitud! e then here you go, what can I say? It will be a lasting friendship. You always have respect from others. Your life seems to have lots of worries and problems but sure they won ' t be long.. You will always have brilliant kids!!! You love the money a bit too much so temptation will push you to endless trying and trying.. If you are a guy then it ' s over. Looking after your family and help friends, so you will spend a life time just being generous and kind (except 21st born men). And number 3s you will be such an example of how to be in the culture & life!!! If you are girl then you have good character and culture & hardworking attitude. You always follow. You are a freedom lover, creative, ambition focused, a person who brings beauty , hope & joy to this world!!! Your best match 6 ,9. Good match 1 ,3 ,5 !!!


Number 4

You are very stubborn too, very hard working but unlucky in important matters in life, very cool, helpful, you have rough word power.. Might put lots of people away from you, you may cause nuisance to others if you are a man, and you often understands others and their problems well. If you are a girl you are very good with studies and arts. If you are a guy you spend most of the time after girl friends (almost) at times, you will have sort of too much fun life with mates & girls. Your friends will spend your time & money and get away with their life and you will become empty handed and don ' t know what to do... So be careful!! You love to spend anyway!!! Your good will is you are always there to help family and friends. Tell you what you people are little gem! s, specially the girls.. You always fall in love in younger age as well. You often live with disappointments, for an exampleyou have got a degree in some thing... but you will be unemployed.. or will do very ordinary jobs.But you will take care of your family very well...All you need to be careful of people who will take advantage of your kind heart. And beware of your relations too.. You are radical, patient, persistent, a bit old-fashioned, you live with foundation & order... Your best Match 1, 8. Good match 5 ,6 , 7 !!!


Number 5

You are very popular within the community, you can get things done by just chatting..to even enemies! You have a pretty good business mind, you are often have no-idea what is today is like, or tomorrow is like, you are a person who does anything when your head thinks "lets do this". You will be famous if you open up a business, get involve in share dealings, music etc.. Very popular with sense of humor ,you are the one your friends and families will always ask for help, and you are the one actually get money on credit and help your friends. You will have more than 1 relationship, but when u get settle down you will be a bit selfish anyway. Coz your other half will have a pretty good amount of control in you, be careful! You tend to go for other relationships! Contacts even you are married at times ' coz your popularity.. You are someone who get along with anyone coz the number 5 is the middle number.. Changes & freedom lovers you are! You are an explorer with magic on your face. You learn your life through experience and it ' s your best teacher!!! Your best match 1 ,2 ,9. Good match 6 ,8 !!!


Number 6

Ooopppss..you are born to enjoy.... You don ' t care about others. I mean you are always want to enjoy your life time, you are a person.. You will be very good in either education or work wise or business management! You are talented, kind (but with only people who you think are nice), very beautiful girls and guys, popular and more than lucky with anything in your lives. All the goodness does come with you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love. You are lovable by any other numbers. But if you are a number 6 man, you will experience kind of looks from most girls and will involve in more than few relationships until you get married. If you are girl, most of you will get marry/engaged early. You are ! a caring person towards your family & friends . If you miss the half-way mark then you are about to suffer physically and mentally. Generally you will lead a very good inner-home happiness with nothing short of.... You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and after all you can heal this world wounds to make peace for every life coz you have the great power of caring talent to make this world of love one step further... Your best match 1, 6, 9. Good match 4, 5!!!


Number 7

You have got the attraction to anyone out there, you are realistic, very confident, happy, such a talented individual with your education, music, arts, singing, and most importantly acting too. You have real problems with bad temper! If you are a girl, you are popular with the subjects listed above. You give up things for your parents. I mean you value your family status a lot, you will be in the top rank when you reach a certain age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls, you are a very talented too. Most of the number 7s face lots of problems with their marriage life.Only a very few are happy. You have everything in your life, but still always number 7s have some sort of unfullfilness, such worries all their lifetime. It ' s probably the Lord given you al! l sort of over the standard humans talents and you are about to suffer in family life. So you need to get ready looking for a partner rather than waiting. If you don ' t, then you might end-up single. So take care with this issue, ok? You are wonderful, friendly, artistic, happy person.. You are born to contribute lots to this world!!! Your best match is 2. Good matches are 1,4 !!!


Number 8

You are a very strong personality, there ' s no one out there will understand you. You are very good at pointing your finger at some thing and say "this is what". You are more likely to suffer from the early ages. I mean poverty. If your times are not good you might lose either of your parent and end up looking after your entire family. You often suffer all the way in life. The problems will not allow you to study further, but you will learn the life in a very practical way. You are the one who will fight for justice and may die in the war too. You are normally very reserved with handful of friends and most of the time live life lonely and always prepared to help others. Well. once you get married (which is often late) then your bad lucks will go away a bit and you! u become safe. You will face un-expected problems such as : the error, government, poisonous animals, accidents... You are some one with great discipline, persistence, courage, strength which will take you to success. You are a great part of a family team.. You are a fighter! Your Best match 1 ,4, 8. Good match 5 !!!


Number 9

Hey...you guys are the incompatibles people in the world. You are so strong, physically and mentally... You are often have big-aims. You will work hard and hard to get there. Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you will have fighting life.. But when you achieve what you have done, it ' s always a big task you have done! You are so much respected in the community, you are a person who can make a challenge and successfully finish the matter off. You are very naughty in your younger age, often beaten up by your parents and involve in fights and you seemed to have lots of injuries in your life time. But when u grow you become calm and macho type. Love is not an easy matter for you. You are good in engineering or banking jobs coz people always trust you. Your family life is very good, but will have worries over your children. Your such qualities are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate. You are born to achieve targets and serve every one all equally without any prejudice. You are totally a role model to anybody in the world for a great inspiration. Your Best match 3, 5, 6, 9. Good match 2

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