Sunday, August 19, 2012

Don't blame the landlady


One Day At Bat A Young Man Met A Beautiful Girl And Agreed To Spend The Night With Her For $500.
So They Did.
Before He Left, He Told Her That He Did Not Have Any Cash With Him, But That He Would Have His Secretary Write A Cheque And Mail It To Her, Calling The Payment “rent For Apartment”.
On The Way To His Office He Regretted What He Had Promised, Deciding That The Whole Event Was Not Worth The Price.
So, He Had His Secretary Send A Cheque For $250 And Enclosed The Following Note:
Dear Madam, Enclosed Find Cheque Of $250 For Rent Of Your Apartment.
I Am Not Sending The Amount Agreed Upon Because When I Rented The Apartment I Was Under The Impression That:
1) It Had Never Been Occupied
2) That There Was Plenty Of Heat
3) That It Was Small Enough To Make Me Cozy And Feel At Home.
Last Night, However, I Found It Had Been Previously Occupied, That There Was No Heat, And It Was Entirely Too Large.
Upon Receipt Of The Note, The Girl Immediately Returned The Check For $250 With The Following Note:
Dear Sir, First Of All, I Cannot Understand How You Expect A Beautiful Apartment To Remain Unoccupied Indefinitely.
As For The Heat, There Is Heat If You Know How To Turn It On.
Regarding The Space, The Apartment Is, Indeed, Of Regular Size, But If You Don’t Have Enough Furniture To Fill ItSo Please Don’t Blame The Landlady

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pic courtesy : https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZlEro3lwpMe4CJUzR-a6xQdRj46iywmHhuZ35Z5ZXVWul3uZNzUl3XVjfOeeYlQyz2atUS_7nnskdirJFX5yJfuiuR3nDtImuJof4puMREueQZul1VfWTqvlMmm2zO2iKcijqMfzkU_2Z/s400/landlady.jpg, 

Friday, August 17, 2012

Something about friendship...



Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave and impossible to forget.
A BEST FRIEND is like a four leaf clover, HARD TO FIND and LUCKY TO HAVE.
Some people make the world SPECIAL just by being in it.

Also read Friendship...true facts
 
BEST FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to give us.
When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your BEST FRIEND will be there.

Also read Rainbow of Friendship
 
TRUE FRIENDSHIP "NEVER" ENDS...Friends are FOREVER.
Good friends are like shooting stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
Most people walk in and out of your life, but only friends leave foot prints in your heart.


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Thursday, August 16, 2012

Some witty lines



1.What is the difference between Einstein and Karunanidhi?

Einstein said that everything is relative wheras Karunanidhi says that relative is everything

2.Why is Bangla Desh not sending a contingent to Olympics?

Because anyone who can run,jump or swim, has already crossed the border of the country

3.Why did UPA Government demonetise 25 paise coins?

They could not manage one Anna, how could they manage four annas?

4.100 phones tapped each day per operator. Finally we have a
government that listens to us.

5. Vote for Baba Ramdev. He’ll be the PM who can help you make your
ends meet. Your head and toe, that is.

6. Mayawati, Jayalalitha & Mamata should now form an alliance. They can
call it Behenji-Amma-Didi. Or BAD, for short.

7. Some days, Digvijay Singh makes no sense. Other days, he is silent.

8. I really don’t understand why people consider alcohol to be a
problem. Chemically speaking, it’s a solution.

9. A documentary on Air India’s planes – Saare Zameen Par.
 

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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

How to play with words?



This has got to be one of the most clever E-mails I've received
 recently. Someone out     
  there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.        
                   
>  (wait till you see the last one)! .......                             
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          DORMITORY:                                                    
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          DIRTY ROOM                                                    
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          PRESBYTERIAN:                                                 
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          BEST IN PRAYER                                                
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          ASTRONOMER:                                                   
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          MOON STARER                                                   
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          DESPERATION:                                                  
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          A ROPE ENDS IT                                                
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          THE EYES:                                                     
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          THEY SEE                                                      
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          GEORGE BUSH:                                                  
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          HE BUGS GORE                                                  
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          THE MORSE CODE:                                               
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          HERE COME DOTS                                                
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          SLOT MACHINES:                                                
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          CASH LOST IN ME                                               
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          ANIMOSITY:                                                    
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          IS NO AMITY                                                   
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          ELECTION RESULTS:                                             
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          LIES - LET'S RECOUNT                                          
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          MOTHER-IN-LAW:                                                
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          WOMAN HITLER                                                  
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          SNOOZE ALARMS:                                                
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S                                            
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          A DECIMAL POINT:                                              
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          IM A DOT IN PLACE                                             
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          THE EARTHQUAKES:                                              
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          THAT QUEER SHAKE                                              
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          ELEVEN PLUS TWO:                                              
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters:                               
>                    
>          TWELVE PLUS ONE                                               
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:                                     
>                    
>                                                                        
>                    
>          PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:                                 
>                    
>          When you rearrange the letters                                
>                    
>          (With no letters left over and using each letter only once):  
>                    
>          TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS



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pic courtesy : http://www.idiomsbykids.com/taylor/mrtaylor/class20022003/idioms/idioms2003/idioms2/Play%20on%20Words.jpg, 

Friday, July 13, 2012

Who is a Project manager?



> A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on
display.While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the
shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey please."
>
> The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and
took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer,
saying, that'll be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his
monkey.
>
> Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a
very expensive monkey. Why did it cost so much?"
> The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can program in C very fast,
tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
>
> The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more
expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"
> "Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object- oriented programming,
Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff," said the
shopkeeper.
>
> The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a
cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to
the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the other put together! What
on earth does it do?"
>
> The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it doing anything,
but the other monkeys call him the project manager."


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pic courtesy : http://blog.bootstraptoday.com/assets/smart-pm.jpg, 

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

What is your obsession?



A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session
with five young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said:
"You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mum, Ann:
"Your obsession is with money.
It manifests itself in your children's names,
Penny, Goldie and Frank."

He turned to the third Mum, Joyce:
"Your obsession is alcohol.
This too shows itself in your children's names:
Brandy and Sherry.
You even called the cat, "Whisky"

He then turned to the fourth Mum June:
"Your obsession is with flowers.
Your girls are called Rose, Daphne & Poppy."

At this point, the fifth mother, Kathy, quietly got up,
took her little boy by the hand and whispered:
"Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about.
Let's pick up Fanny and Willy and go home."


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pic courtesy : http://micheleberger.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/115512-obsessive.jpg, 

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

How to become rich ? Part -1


If this question is asked to anyone, the probable answer will be that you should have a high earning job or you should be the owner of a business which should be the source of good income. But is earning good amount is the only way to get rich? Or maybe it is just one aspect of the answer to this question.
Earning good amount on regular basis is one important aspect of becoming rich; the other important aspect is to save a good amount regularly. For example, if we consider two persons X and Y, suppose X earns Rs. 30000 per month while Y earns Rs. 20000 per month, X lives his life in a lavish style and spends a lot on parties, outings, shopping while Y is a reasonable spender, he spends only when it is required, he also go for parties, outings and shopping but he has an habit of keeping in control. On an average X saves only Rs. 2000 per month while Y saves Rs. 6000 per month, so by simple mathematical calculation we can make out that in one year X will have Rs. 24000 in his saving account while Y’s account will have Rs. 72000. Despite earning more than Y, X is poorer than Y.
In simple words, saving as more important as earning and a person should be conscious about his/her expenses and should cut out any unnecessary expenses and save money.
Let us discuss some ways of saving money and becoming rich :

1)      Save electricity and keep a check on the bill : electricity should be used reasonably and keep in mind to switch off all the lights when you are leaving house and never waste electricity as it is national property. By using power in a reasonable manner you can not only save your money but you can also help your country as Saving of electricity = production of electricity .

2)      Save water: water is also national property as power and it should not be wasted as it is already in scarcity, by keeping a check on the wastage of water you should reduce your water bills as well as do your country some good.

3)      Limit petrol expenses : In India, in last two years the petrol prices have gone up by almost Rs 30/ litre, so we should also make sure that we are using our vehicles when they are necessary and if you are travelling alone in city prefer to travel by public transport or two-wheelers whose average is more than car. Cars should be used only when the whole family is travelling together.

4)      Limit junk food : prefer to eat home food as it is more healthy and cheap in comparison to junk food. Eating junk food regularly will also increase your medical expenses as they are unhygienic and unhealthy and after a time limit your digestion is not able to cope up with your unhealthy habits.

5)      Drinking habits : avoid liquor as much as possible as it is unhealthy and costly as well. The soft drinks available in market should also be avoided and you should prefer to drink fruit juices as they are both refreshing and healthy.

We will be discussing more ways of saving money and becoming rich in next part.

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http://msjilesen.yolasite.com/resources/electricity.jpg, pic courtesy : http://assetssecurity.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/How-to-Become-Rich.jpg, 

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