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Monday, August 20, 2012
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Don't blame the landlady
One Day At Bat A Young Man Met A Beautiful Girl
And Agreed To Spend The Night With Her For $500.
So They Did.
Before He Left, He Told Her That He Did Not Have
Any Cash With Him, But That He Would Have His Secretary Write A Cheque And Mail It To Her, Calling The Payment
“rent For Apartment”.
On The Way To His Office He Regretted What He
Had Promised, Deciding That The Whole Event Was Not Worth The Price.
So, He Had His Secretary Send A Cheque For $250 And Enclosed The Following Note:
Dear Madam, Enclosed Find Cheque Of $250 For Rent Of Your Apartment.
I Am Not Sending The Amount Agreed Upon Because
When I Rented The Apartment I Was Under The Impression That:
1) It Had Never Been Occupied
2) That There Was Plenty Of Heat
3) That It Was Small Enough To Make Me Cozy And
Feel At Home.
Last Night, However, I Found It Had Been
Previously Occupied, That There Was No Heat, And It Was Entirely Too Large.
Upon Receipt Of The Note, The Girl Immediately
Returned The Check For $250 With The Following Note:
Dear Sir, First Of All, I Cannot Understand How
You Expect A Beautiful Apartment To Remain Unoccupied Indefinitely.
As For The Heat, There Is Heat If You Know How
To Turn It On.
Regarding The Space, The Apartment Is, Indeed,
Of Regular Size, But If You Don’t Have Enough Furniture To Fill It, So Please Don’t Blame The Landlady
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Friday, August 17, 2012
Something about friendship...
Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave and
impossible to forget.
A BEST FRIEND is like a four leaf clover, HARD TO FIND and
LUCKY TO HAVE.
BEST FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to give us.
When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you and your BEST FRIEND will be there.
Good friends are like shooting stars....You don't always see
them, but you know they are always there.
Most people walk in and out of your life, but only friends
leave foot prints in your heart.
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pic courtesy : http://hoiden.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/friendship4976.jpg,
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Some witty lines
1.What is the difference between Einstein and Karunanidhi?
Einstein said that everything is relative wheras Karunanidhi says that relative is everything
2.Why is Bangla Desh not sending a contingent to Olympics?
Because anyone who can run,jump or swim, has already crossed the border of the country
3.Why did UPA Government demonetise 25 paise coins?
They could not manage one Anna, how could they manage four annas?
4.100 phones tapped each day per operator. Finally we have a
government that listens to us.
5. Vote for Baba Ramdev. He’ll be the PM who can help you make your
ends meet. Your head and toe, that is.
6. Mayawati, Jayalalitha & Mamata should now form an alliance. They can
call it Behenji-Amma-Didi. Or BAD, for short.
7. Some days, Digvijay Singh makes no sense. Other days, he is silent.
8. I really don’t understand why people consider alcohol to be a
problem. Chemically speaking, it’s a solution.
9. A documentary on Air India’s planes – Saare Zameen Par.
Einstein said that everything is relative wheras Karunanidhi says that relative is everything
2.Why is Bangla Desh not sending a contingent to Olympics?
Because anyone who can run,jump or swim, has already crossed the border of the country
3.Why did UPA Government demonetise 25 paise coins?
They could not manage one Anna, how could they manage four annas?
4.100 phones tapped each day per operator. Finally we have a
government that listens to us.
5. Vote for Baba Ramdev. He’ll be the PM who can help you make your
ends meet. Your head and toe, that is.
6. Mayawati, Jayalalitha & Mamata should now form an alliance. They can
call it Behenji-Amma-Didi. Or BAD, for short.
7. Some days, Digvijay Singh makes no sense. Other days, he is silent.
8. I really don’t understand why people consider alcohol to be a
problem. Chemically speaking, it’s a solution.
9. A documentary on Air India’s planes – Saare Zameen Par.
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knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom,
keep visiting Health,
Wealth and Wisdom
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updated regarding Dehradun and the world, please visit Doonspot
pic courtesy : http://i2.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo_images/-1/draft_lens7353192module63408702photo_1255684983funny3.jpg,
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
How to play with words?
This has got to be one of the most clever
E-mails I've received
recently. Someone out
there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
> (wait till you see the last one)! .......
>
>
>
>
>
> DORMITORY:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> DIRTY ROOM
>
>
>
> PRESBYTERIAN:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> BEST IN PRAYER
>
>
>
> ASTRONOMER:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> MOON STARER
>
>
>
> DESPERATION:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> A ROPE ENDS IT
>
>
>
> THE EYES:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> THEY SEE
>
>
>
> GEORGE BUSH:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> HE BUGS GORE
>
>
>
> THE MORSE CODE:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> HERE COME DOTS
>
>
>
> SLOT MACHINES:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> CASH LOST IN ME
>
>
>
> ANIMOSITY:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> IS NO AMITY
>
>
>
> ELECTION RESULTS:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
>
>
>
> MOTHER-IN-LAW:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> WOMAN HITLER
>
>
>
> SNOOZE ALARMS:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
>
>
>
> A DECIMAL POINT:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> IM A DOT IN PLACE
>
>
>
> THE EARTHQUAKES:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> THAT QUEER SHAKE
>
>
>
> ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> TWELVE PLUS ONE
>
>
>
> AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
>
>
>
> PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:
>
> When you rearrange the letters
>
> (With no letters left over and using each letter only once):
>
> TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS
recently. Someone out
there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
> (wait till you see the last one)! .......
>
>
>
>
>
> DORMITORY:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> DIRTY ROOM
>
>
>
> PRESBYTERIAN:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> BEST IN PRAYER
>
>
>
> ASTRONOMER:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> MOON STARER
>
>
>
> DESPERATION:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> A ROPE ENDS IT
>
>
>
> THE EYES:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> THEY SEE
>
>
>
> GEORGE BUSH:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> HE BUGS GORE
>
>
>
> THE MORSE CODE:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> HERE COME DOTS
>
>
>
> SLOT MACHINES:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> CASH LOST IN ME
>
>
>
> ANIMOSITY:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> IS NO AMITY
>
>
>
> ELECTION RESULTS:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
>
>
>
> MOTHER-IN-LAW:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> WOMAN HITLER
>
>
>
> SNOOZE ALARMS:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
>
>
>
> A DECIMAL POINT:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> IM A DOT IN PLACE
>
>
>
> THE EARTHQUAKES:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> THAT QUEER SHAKE
>
>
>
> ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
>
> When you rearrange the letters:
>
> TWELVE PLUS ONE
>
>
>
> AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
>
>
>
> PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:
>
> When you rearrange the letters
>
> (With no letters left over and using each letter only once):
>
> TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS
To enhance your
knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom,
keep visiting Health,
Wealth and Wisdom
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updated regarding Dehradun and the world, please visit Doonspot
pic courtesy : http://www.idiomsbykids.com/taylor/mrtaylor/class20022003/idioms/idioms2003/idioms2/Play%20on%20Words.jpg,
Friday, July 13, 2012
Who is a Project manager?
> A tourist walked into a pet shop and was
looking at the animals on
display.While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the
shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey please."
>
> The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and
took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer,
saying, that'll be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his
monkey.
>
> Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a
very expensive monkey. Why did it cost so much?"
> The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can program in C very fast,
tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
>
> The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more
expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"
> "Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object- oriented programming,
Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff," said the
shopkeeper.
>
> The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a
cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to
the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the other put together! What
on earth does it do?"
>
> The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it doing anything,
but the other monkeys call him the project manager."
display.While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the
shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey please."
>
> The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and
took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer,
saying, that'll be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his
monkey.
>
> Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a
very expensive monkey. Why did it cost so much?"
> The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can program in C very fast,
tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
>
> The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more
expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"
> "Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object- oriented programming,
Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff," said the
shopkeeper.
>
> The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a
cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to
the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the other put together! What
on earth does it do?"
>
> The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it doing anything,
but the other monkeys call him the project manager."
To enhance your
knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom,
keep visiting Health,
Wealth and Wisdom
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updated regarding Dehradun and the world, please visit Doonspot
pic courtesy : http://blog.bootstraptoday.com/assets/smart-pm.jpg,
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
What is your obsession?
A psychiatrist was
conducting a group therapy session
with five young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said:
"You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mum, Ann:
"Your obsession is with money.
It manifests itself in your children's names,
Penny, Goldie and Frank."
He turned to the third Mum, Joyce:
"Your obsession is alcohol.
This too shows itself in your children's names:
Brandy and Sherry.
You even called the cat, "Whisky"
He then turned to the fourth Mum June:
"Your obsession is with flowers.
Your girls are called Rose, Daphne & Poppy."
At this point, the fifth mother, Kathy, quietly got up,
took her little boy by the hand and whispered:
"Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about.
Let's pick up Fanny and Willy and go home."
with five young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said:
"You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mum, Ann:
"Your obsession is with money.
It manifests itself in your children's names,
Penny, Goldie and Frank."
He turned to the third Mum, Joyce:
"Your obsession is alcohol.
This too shows itself in your children's names:
Brandy and Sherry.
You even called the cat, "Whisky"
He then turned to the fourth Mum June:
"Your obsession is with flowers.
Your girls are called Rose, Daphne & Poppy."
At this point, the fifth mother, Kathy, quietly got up,
took her little boy by the hand and whispered:
"Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about.
Let's pick up Fanny and Willy and go home."
To enhance your
knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom,
keep visiting Health,
Wealth and Wisdom
To keep yourself
updated regarding Dehradun and the world, please visit Doonspot
pic courtesy : http://micheleberger.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/115512-obsessive.jpg,
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