10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...

Stupid Question:-

Hey, what are you doing here?

Answer:-

Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on

your feet...

Stupid Question:-

Sorry, did that hurt?

Answer:-

No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...

Stupid Question:-

Why, why him, of all people.

Answer:-

Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter

Stupid Question:-

Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??

Answer:-

No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also

spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after

years...

Stupid Question:-

Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.

Answer:-

Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...

Stupid Question:-

Is the guy you're marrying good?

Answer:-

No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the

money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...

Stupid Question:-

Sorry. were you sleeping?

Answer:-

No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or

not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...

Stupid Question:-

Hey have you had a haircut?

Answer:-

No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...

Stupid Question:-

Tell me if it hurts?

Answer:-

No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...

Stupid Question:-

Oh, so you smoke.

Answer:-

Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in

flames!!!

Lets laugh a little....

A Sardarji weNt to US and had a meeting with GEORGE.W.BUSH

BUSH: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me.
He takes him to a forest.

BUSH: Dig the ground. Sardarji did it.
BUSH: more...more...more... Sardarji went up to 100 feet.
BUSH: So now, try to search something.
Sardarji: I got a wire.
BUSH: you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have
telephones.

Sardarji became frustrated. He invited BUSH to India. Next year Bush
was in India


Sardarji : I want to show you our advancement. The same...he takes BUSH to a forest.
Sardarji : Dig it. BUSH does.
Sardarji : more...more...more... BUSH goes up to almost 400 feet..
Sardarji : try to find something. Bush tries.
Sardarji : Did you get anything? Bush : No, there is nothing here.

Sardarji : you know, it shows that even 400 years ago we used to have WIRELESS!! 

*************************************************************************************************************

AMCHI MUMBAI

A City where everything is possible, especially the impossible.

Where lovers first love and then marry, Where there is place for every Tom, Dick and Harry

Where telephone bills make a person ill, Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.

Where carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen, Where the road is considered to be a dustbin,

Where college canteens are full and classes empty,Where Adam teasing is also making an entry,

Where a cycle reaches faster than a car, Where everyone thinks himself to be a star,

Where sky scrapers overlook the slum, Where houses collapse as the monsoon comes,

Where people first act and then think, Where there is more water in the pen than ink,

Where the roads see-saw in monsoon, Where the beggars become rich soon,

Where the roads are levelled when the minister arrives,
Where college admission means hard cash, Where cement is frequently mixed with ash.

This is Mumbai my dear, But don't fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every year!

The Four Cats ! 

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. 


The first man was an Engineer, 

the second man was an Accountant, 

the third man was a Chemist,,,,,,and 

the fourth man was a Government Employee. 


To show off, the Engineer called his cat,
"T-square, do your stuff." 
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some 
paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, 
and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. 


But the Accountant said his cat could do better. 
He called his cat and said, 
"Spreadsheet, do your stuff." 
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned 
with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles 
of 3 cookies.............Everyone agreed that was good. 



But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his 
cat and said,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"Measure, do your stuff." 
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of 
milk,, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured 
exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass. 
Everyone agreed that was pretty good. 


Then the three men turned to the Government Employee 
and said, "What can your cat do?" 



The Government Employee called his cat and said,,,,, 
"CoffeeBreak,,,,do your stuff." 
CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet,,,,,,,,,,,   



        
 
                .... ate the cookies,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 


      
 
   ...... drank the milk,,,,,,,, shit on the paper 






 ................ screwed the other three cats,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 


 



 .............. claimed he injured his back while doing so,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 






 .............. filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions,,, 



        



 ............  put in for Workers Compensation...............and 



            



 ......... went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.............  

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Mistake


If a barber makes a mistake,

It's a new style...

 

If a driver makes a mistake,

It is an accident...

 

If a doctor makes a mistake,

It's an operation...

 

If a engineer makes a mistake,

It is a new venture...

 

If parents makes a mistake,

It is a new generation...

 

If a politician makes a mistake,

It is a new law...

 

If a scientist makes a mistake,

It is a new invention...

 

If a tailor makes a mistake,

It is a new fashion...

 

If a teacher makes a mistake,

It is a new theory...

 

If our boss makes a mistake,

It is our mistake...

 

If an employee makes a mistake,

It is a "MISTAKE"

To enhance your knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom, keep visiting Health, Wealth and Wisdom

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Chinese Proverbs

You may also like to take a look at : Some facts about Human Brain

The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out.

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He who cannot agree with his enemies is controlled by them.

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The greatest victory, is the battle not fought.

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The best soldiers are not warlike.

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If you are patient in a moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.

---

I was angered, for I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet.

You may also like to take a look at : 10 facts about Albert Einstein

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If luck comes, who comes not? If luck comes not, who comes?

---

The more you sweat in Peacetime, The less you bleed during War.

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Better do a good deed near at home than go far away to burn incense.

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Heaven lent you a soul Earth will lend a grave.

You may also like to take a look at : Beautiful pics with cool words

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Mankind fears an evil man but heaven does not.

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Of all the thirty-six alternatives, running away is best.

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Behind every able man, there are always other able men.

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To talk goodness is not good...Only to do it is.

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There is no one to sweep a common hall.

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Great souls have wills; feeble ones have only wishes.

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Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.

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He who rides a tiger is afraid to dismount.

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The old horse may die in someone's keeping.

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Some facts about KFC

The creator of KFC, “Colonel Sanders”, was actually a gas station manager, whose real name was Harland Sanders.

The first KFC restaurant was opened outside of Sanders gas station, and was originally called Sanders Court & Cafe.

The first ever bucket of KFC chicken was sold in 1952.

KFC is consumed by nearly 8 million people per day in the US alone

The KFC franchise is open in 80 countries around the world.

In 1982, KFC was acquired by Nabisco. But after some time Pepsi Co acquired Nasisco , so now KFC is acquired by Pepsi Co.

THe original, still secret recipe, was invented in 1940.

The secret recipe for KFC chicken is kept in a safe in Louisville, KY.

In 2007, KFC decided to keep the original recipe, but fry the chicken in a different type of oil so that trans fat was removed.

KFC is routinely boycotted by organizations like PETA for what they consider animal rights violations committed against chickens.

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I am not perfect....

I fall, I rise,
I make mistakes,
I live, I learn,
I've been hurt but I'm alive.
I'm human, I'm not perfect

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Urine Analysis...

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

To enhance your knowledge regarding your health, financial and monetary conditions and wisdom, keep visiting Health, Wealth and Wisdom

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