A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting
the fact that his doctor
has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss
program. Guaranteed like heck, he
thinks to himself. But lets see what they think they can do.
He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the
3 day, 10 LB weight loss
program.
The next day there comes a knock at his door, and
when he answers, there
stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nikes and a sign
hanging around her neck. She
introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, If you can catch me,
you can have me.
Well, without a second thought he takes off after her (like
who wouldn't). A few miles later, huffing
and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through he kisses the girl one
last time and thinks to himself with a
nod, I like the way this company does
business.
For the next two days, the same girl shows up and
the same thing happens
each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and, sure enough, he has lost 10 pounds. Deciding that he
likes his somewhat more slender physique,
not to mention the method of treatment, he calls
the company back and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 LB weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only
5 days seems
like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their
workout schedule might be like this time.
As expected, the next day there comes a knock at
his door. When he answers
it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of Reeboks and a sign hanging around her neck.
She is simply stunning, the most
beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss
company. The sign reads, If you can catch
me, you can have me. He's out the door like a shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch
her. But when he does, it is worth every
cramp and wheeze. She is wonderful,
the best he has ever had. He is really looking forward to the next four days... For the next four days, the same
girl shows up
and the same thing happens each time, much to
his delight. On the sixth day, he
weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20 pounds. I love this company, he thinks to
himself, I never knew losing weight could
be so easy and so much fun.
Feeling much better about himself, he decides to
go for broke and
subscribe to the companies 7 day, 50 pound
weight loss program. Are
you sure, sir? asks the representative on the
phone. This is our most
rigorous program. Absolutely, says he, I love
your program. haven't
felt this good in years! The next
day there comes a knock at his
door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands
before him a 200
pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in
nothing but racing spikes
and a sign around his neck. He introduces
himself as a representative
of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, If I can catch you, I can have
you.
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