Saturday, November 29, 2008

Hey dirty mind...



1. What's in front of a woman and back of a cow?
The letter W.
2. What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Coconut.
3. What's about 6 inches long has a vein running down it, and women love to get their hands on?
A $100 bill.
4. What goes in hard and solid then comes out soft and sticky?
Bubble-gum.
5. What is long, hard and round and sticks so far out a man's pajamas that you can hang a hat on it?
His head.
6. What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down, and a dog does on three legs?
Shake hands.
7. What is it that a woman has two and a cow has four?
Legs.
8. What assists an erection, often has big balls hanging from it, and is also called a big swinger?
A crane.
9. What do you stick poles inside of, tie down to get it up. And, also gets wet before you do?
A tent.
10. When I go in I cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole.
A dentist.
11. What do you stick your finger in and fiddle with when you're bored?
The best man always has me first... A wedding ring.
12. All day long, it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both, men and women go down on me...
An elevator.
13. What comes in many sizes, drips when it is not well, and makes you feel good when you blow it?
A nose.
14. When I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news.
A newspaper boy.
15. I offer Protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off.
A glove.
16. What has a stiff shaft, has a penetrating tip, and comes with a quiver?
An arrow.
17. I make some guys shoot in the air. I usually have a little pecker. I'm better in your hand than in your bush.
A bird.
18. This is a useful tool, commonly found in the range of 6 inches long, the functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes.
It is usually found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action. It boasts of a clump of little hairy things at one end
And a small hole at the other. In use, it is quickly inserted, almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in and drawn out
Again and again many times in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements. Anyone found listening in will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sound resulting from the well-lubricated movements. When finally, withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some from its long glistening shaft.
After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased emanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often much less. What is it?
It is your very own toothbrush.

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Friday, November 28, 2008

Wallpapers and cool dialogues



























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pic courtesy: www.despair.com,

Thursday, November 20, 2008

You want to insult someone? Let me help you...

* I heard you went to have your head examined, but the doctors found nothing there.
* Don't get me wrong. I`m not trying to make a monkey out of you. I can’t take the credit.
* This is no battle of wits between u & me. I never pick on an unarmed man.
* Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you've got a palm.
* We think of you when we are lonely. Then we are content to be alone.
* Hey, how come even though you are still alive your parents are in mourning for you?
* I'd like to break the monotony; where's your weakest point?
* I hear you are an officer. Your rank is -- just plain rank!
* Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic.
· If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents.
· If you don't want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately.
·I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
· They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.
·You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.
·People can't say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!
·You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.
·I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more!
If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

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pic courtesy: http://i31.photobucket.com, 

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Amazing bridge




This bridge is half under the water, for ships to pass and then again, it comes out on the other side.
Truly a marvelous piece of engineering!
This bridge is between Sweden and Denmark ...
Picture taken from the side of Sweden.
The bridge goes under water to allow movement of ships.


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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Some good ones...


Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home & devil in bed.
But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home & an economist in Bed.
Girl announced her engagement to her father.
Father: Does this fellow has any money?
Girl: U men r all alike, that's exactly what he asked me about u.
Museum Administrator: That's a 500 year old statue you have broken.
Lalu: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Banta: Give me a bag full of money, job and a vehicle full of girls
God: So it be, my son and made him a bus conductor of ladies special bus!
How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when hears a woman singing in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole instead of his eye!

A genuine reason for having two girlfriends at a time:
Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!

Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.
Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.

Angry Santa to his son: Have you ever seen an owl?
Pappu: (Looking down) No...
Santa: Don't look down. Look at me.

Santa: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
Banta: Ok
Santa: A white horse fell in the mud.

Two goldfish in a bowl talking: Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?

Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far. Instead U could have posted it.

Why women live a better, longer & a peaceful life?
Because, women don't have a wife.
Man standing on the scale, holding his stomach in. Wife: I don't think that is going to help.
Man: Sure it does. How else could I see the numbers?

Maths & Women are the two most complicated things in this world...
But maths at least has some logic!

Teacher: what do u call a person who cannot hear anything?
Santa: U can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything.
Santa found the answer to the most difficult question ever:
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
Why do bees hum?
Because they've forgotten the words.
Control to pilot: What is your height and position?
Pilot: I'm five feet eight inches and i'm sitting down.

Wife: I Have Changed My Mind.
Husband: Thank God ! Does The New One Work Now?

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pic courtesy: http://imagecache2.allposters.com/, 

Saturday, November 15, 2008

OBAMA: If God says it's you, who can alter it?

Undated picture of Obama in Kenya....

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Thursday, November 13, 2008

Some people are never satisfied...


Also see: When a male can't stand it any more! Priceless shot!



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