Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Just some thoughts...



Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, 
and ends with a tear
.

Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, 
and impossible to forget.

You can only go as far as you push.

Actions speak louder than words.

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, 
love somebody else.



Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff.

Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it.

A BEST FRIEND is like a four leaf clover, 
HARD TO FIND and LUCKY TO HAVE.


BEST FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to give us.
When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your BEST FRIEND will be there.


Don't frown, You never know who is falling in love 
with your smile.
Most p eo p le walk in and out of your life, 
but only friends leave foot p rints in your heart.



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Friday, February 18, 2011

CONFUSED,,,,,



I became confused when I heard the word 'service'  used with these agencies.
Revenue 'Service'
Postal 'Service'
Telephone 'Service'
Cable TV 'Service'
Civil 'Service'
Public 'Service'
Customer 'Service'
Military 'Service'
This is not what I thought 'Service' meant.
But today, I overheard two farmers talking,
and one of them said he had hired a bull to “service” his cows

You want to change yourself….follow these points:
# Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

# I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.

# I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

# I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

# I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.

# Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing.

# I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly....

# I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses.

# I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).

# I resolve to work with

neglected children -- my own.

# I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.

# I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.

# I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.

# I will think of a password other than "password."

# I will not tell the same story at every get together.

# I won't worry so much.

# I will cut my hair.

# I will grow my hair.

# I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

# I will be more imaginative.

# I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks.

# I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.

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pic courtesy : http://rlv.zcache.com/smile_it_confuses_people_tshirt-p235471355806379456qr2x_400.jpg, 

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Why India cant launch a nuclear missile...?



During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, 
Soviet Satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in 
less than 45 seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way.



Recent studies commissioned by US department of Defense 
included one on nuclear war between India and Pakistan :



This was the scenario....



The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India . 

They don't need any permission from their government, 
and promptly order the countdowns.


Indian technology is highly advanced. 


In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak countdown 
and decides to launch a missile in retribution.



But they need permission from the Government of India .



They submit their request to the Indian President. 



The President forwards it to the Cabinet. 



The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session.



The LS meets, but due to several walkouts and severe protests 
by the opposition, it gets adjourned indefinitely.



The President asks for a quick decision.



In the mean time, 
the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure.


Their attempts for a re-launch are still on.



Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority 
because a party that was giving outside support withdraws it. 



The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week.



As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, 
a caretaker government is installed.



The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear missile. 



But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government 
cannot take such a decision because elections are at hand.



The Election Commission files Public Interest Litigation 
in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power.



The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, 
and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision
in view of the emergency facing the nation.



Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, 
but it fell 367 miles away from the target, 
on its own government building in Islamabad at 11.00AM.



Fortunately there were no casualties 
as no employee had reached the office that early. 



In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached 
somewhere in flight.



The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies 
from China and USA . 



The Indian Government, taking no chances, 
decides to launch a nuclear missile of its own, 
after convening an all-party meeting. 



This time all the parties agree.



Its three months since the army had sought permission. 



But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity" , 
"anti-nuclear" activists come out against the Government's decision.



Human chains are formed and 'Rasta rokos' organized.



In California and Washington endless e-mails are sent to Indians condemning the government and mentioning 
"Please forward it to as many Indians as possible".



On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning. 



Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan.



Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fishes.



A missile (smuggled from USA ) is pressed into service. 



Since the Pakistan army is unable to understand its software, 
it hits it original destination: Russia.



Russians successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a nuclear missile towards Islamabad . 



The missile hits the target and creates havoc.



Pakistan cries for help. 



India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits.


Thus India never gets to launch the missile...!!!

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pic courtesy : http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/8383231/2/istockphoto_8383231-cartoon-missile.jpg, 

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