Saturday, June 14, 2008

Father's Day Special



"The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and I call him Dad!”-- Anonymous
"A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. “-- Enid Bagnold
"The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them.”-- Confucius
"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love the most is soap-on-a-rope."-- Bill Cosby
"You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together.”-- Erika Cosby
"Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee as fondly as he? He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, and joined in thy innocent glee. "-- Margaret Courtney
"Role modeling is the most basic responsibility of parents. Parents are handing life's scripts to their children, scripts that in all likelihood will be acted out for the rest of the children's lives."-- Stephen R. Covey
"What a dreadful thing it must be to have a dull father.”-- Mary Mapes Dodge
"To her the name of father was another name for love.”-- Fanny Fern
"Parents can tell but never teach, unless they practice what they preach."-- Arnold Glasow
"When Charles first saw our child Mary, he said all the proper things for a new father. He looked upon the poor little red thing and blurted, 'She's more beautiful than the Brooklyn Bridge. "--Helen Hayes
"To be a successful father...there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.”-- Ernest Hemingway
"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other."-- Burton Hillis
"I am not caused by my history--my parents, my childhood and development. These are mirrors in which I may catch glimpses of my image."-- James Hillman
"There are fathers who do not love their children; there is no grandfather who does not adore his grandson.”-- Victor Hugo
"You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was."-- Irish Proverb
"Any woodsman can tell you that in a broken and sundered nest, one can hardly find more than a precious few whole eggs. So it is with the family."-- Thomas Jefferson
"My dear father; my dear friend; the best and wisest man I ever knew, who taught me many lessons and showed me many things as we went together along the country by-ways."-- Sarah Orne Jewett
"When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.”-- Jewish Proverb
"The longer we live the more we think and the higher the value we put on friendship and tenderness towards parents and friends."-- Samuel Johnson
"He was all questions. But small boys expect their fathers to be walking lexicons, to do two jobs at once, to give replies as they are working, whether laying stones or building models...digging up a shrub, or planting flower beds...Boys have a right to ask their fathers questions...Fathers are the powers that be, and with their power and might must shelter, guard, and hold and teach and love...All men with sons must learn to do these things...Too soon, too soon, a small son grows and leaves his father's side to test his manhood's wings. "--Roy Z. Kemp
"My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," my dad would reply, "We’re raising boys."--Harmon Killebrew
"Up to a point a man's life is shaped by environment, heredity, and movements and changes in the world about him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, "This I am today; that I will be tomorrow."-- Louis L'Amour
"A man knows he is growing old because he begins to look like his father."-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
"The love of a father is one of nature's greatest masterpieces."
"The thing to remember about fathers is, they're men. A girl has to keep it in mind: They are dragon--seekers, bent on improbable rescues. Scratch any father, you find someone chock--full of qualms and romantic terrors, believing change is a threat - like your first shoes with heels on, like your first bicycle I it took such months to get. "-- Phyllis Mcginley
"It is much easier to become a father than to be one."-- Kent Nerburn (Letters to My Son: Reflections on Becoming a Man)
"As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live."-- Pope John Paul II
"He who is taught to live upon little owes more to his father's wisdom than he who has a great deal left him does to his father's care.”-- William Penn
"The fundamental defect with fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them.”-- Bertrand Russell
"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings. Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what's been taught them."-- Jonas Salk
"I've been very blessed. My parents always told me I could be anything I wanted. When you grow up in a household like that, you learn to believe in yourself."-- Rick Schroeder
"It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.”-- Anne Sexton
"It is a wise father that knows his own child."-- William Shakespeare
"My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately”-- George Bernard Shaw
"It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping."-- John Sinor
"The family--that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to."-- Dodie Smith
"All the feeling which my father could not put into words was in his hand--any dog, child or horse would recognize the kindness of it."-- Freya Stark
"Children learn to smile from their parents."-- Shinichi Suzuki
"Cultivate your own capabilities, your own style. Appreciate the members of your family for who they are, even though their outlook or style may be miles different from yours. Rabbits don't fly. Eagles don't swim. Ducks look funny trying to climb. Squirrels don't have feathers. Stop comparing. There's plenty of room in the forest."-- Chuck Swindoll
"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. "-- Mark Twain

tags : Mark Twain, George Bernard Shaw, William Shakespeare, Victor Hugo

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Friday, June 13, 2008

This is how Gals rate guyz


Girls' relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves. It's not just about boyfriends, we're talking about guy friends that gals have.
Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are you confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams come closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn't fit to wear Jeetendra's white shoes? Here's a ready reckoner for you:

* % just a friend % *
Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, "Oh Rahul, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??"
Rahul: "Where are you going Sanjana??"
Sanjana: "None of your business" and bangs the phone. (Useless fellow.Hmmph!).

* % Good Friend % *
You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that but I try using you when I really need you.
Rahul calls: "Hi Sanjana",
Sanjana: "Hi Rahul. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye"
(Sanjana eventually calls back after two days)
Sanjana: "What do you want Rahul? Why did you call that day?".
Rahul: "Generally".
Sanjana: "Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye."
Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.

* % Very good friend % *
Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl, she will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone. Basically, she wants to talk to you and you are special to her.
Sanjana: "You know Rahul, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn't sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn't like me anymore and yesterday I saw him with another girl".
Rahul: "Who is Shekhar??"
Sanjana: "My boyfriend."
Rahul: Oh! Ok. :-(

* % Best Friend % *
You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can't live without you and don't be mistaken, you are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun.
Rahul Shopping. Rahul Movie. Rahul Coffee Rahul, you pay. I am having fun.
Rahul is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.
Sanjana: "But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends
Rahul. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that."
Rahul: What?? (Rahul drinks all night).

* % Best of the Bestest Friends % *
Ok now you are really special, you are dad-cum-boyfriend- cum-brother- cum-everything, and ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl.
You take her around.
You make her project.
You do her assignments.
You are allowed to take her doggie around.
You can hold hands on the beach.
You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along).
But but but... don't be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 5 times the salary you earn and has a posh flat in an up class area.
Sanjana: "Hi Rahul. I am getting engaged to Shekhar. Shekhar this is Rahul, he is my bestest friend".
Rahul: Hi Shekhar . (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Rahul's wrist).
Rahul is now heart broken and wrist broken.

* % Boyfriend %*
Uh... No comments dude. You're already Gone!
For all Rahul type guys? Make sure that you tell Sanjana about Mamta and about Maya? and about Tina also?
This will open Sanjana's eyes!!!!

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Thursday, June 12, 2008

Basic rules followed in New Delhi

1. The Other Side Law:
If my side of the road has a traffic jam, then I can start driving on the wrong side of the road, and all incoming cars will be rerouted via Meerut.
2. The Queue Nahin Rule:
If there is a queue of many people, no one will notice me sneaking into the front as long as I am looking the other way.
3. The Mind over Matter Law:
If a red light is not working, four cars from different directions can easily pass through one another.
4. The Auto Axiom:
If I indicate which way I am going to turn my vehicle, it is an information security leak.
5. The In Spit of Thing:
The more I lean out of my car or bus, and the harder I spit, the stronger the roads become.
6. The Cinema Hall Fact:
If I get a call on my mobile phone, the film automatically goes into pause mode.
7. The Brotherhood Law:
If I want to win an argument, I need only to repeatedly suggest that the other person has illicit relations with his sister.
8. The Baraat Right:
When I'm on the road to marriage, all the roads in the city belong to me. To ME.
9. The Heart of Things:
If I open enough buttons on my shirt, the pretty girl at the bus stop can see through my maldeformed chest into the depths of my soul.
10. The Name Game:
It is very important for the driver behind me to memorize the nicknames of my children.
11. Parking up The Wrong Tree:
When I double-park my car, the road automatically widens so that the traffic is not affected.
12. The Chill Bill Move:
When I park and block someone else's car I am giving him a chance to pause, relax, chill and take a few moments off from his rushed day.
13. The Ogling Stare:
If you don't ogle and drool at every hot Chic that passes by, you're gay.
14. The Bus Karo Law:
If I stop my bus at the correct place near the bus stop, the city will explode and blow into 6 million pieces.
15. The VIP Rule:
There are only 6 important persons in this city-Me, I, Myself, Main, Mainu, Assi.

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What should you say If you are caught sleeping on the job? Here’s a little help--

"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
“I was working smarter - not harder. “
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
"I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance"
"Actually I'm doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned it at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.
"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress."
"Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
"The coffee machine is broken...."
”Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
"Boy that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
"Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"
"I wasn't sleeping; I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands."
“I'm in the management training program.”
“This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work! “
“I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day. “
“I'm just resting my eyes. “
AND THE #1 BEST THING TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK:

"AMEEN"

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Some tips on French Kissing...




French Kissing tips

The basics

1. Brush your teeth; get a good bath, nicely groomed and clean and fresh, before meeting the other person. There's nothing worse than kissing the rear end of a garbage truck
2. Get into a comfortable position - you can't kiss if your back feels like it's going to break. Suggestion - Sit side by side on a comfy sofa.
3. Hold your lover, firmly but gently - don't cause pain. Suggestion would be to hold the shoulders, the neck or gently on the side of the face, one side or both sides.
4. Move your faces closer. Don't bump noses. Suggestion would be the guy angles his face slightly so you don't bump noses.
5. Kiss gently, normal closed lips kissing, and close your eyes. Closing your eyes increases the sensations you feel, and also sets the mood.
6. Continue kissing gently. Get comfortable with simple closed lips, lip-to-lip kissing before going anywhere else.
7. If fine till here, tentatively, slowly and lightly draw your tongue across the other person's lips.
8. Chances are from here, if the other person lightly parts her tongue; slowly explore the other person's tongue in a light licking motion.
9. The tongue has a very sensitive surface, which is why tongue to tongue the essence in French kissing is.
10. After you've tried lightly licking the other person's tongue, you can try sucking on it, wrestling with it (see if you can hold it to the floor of her mouth) and other things like that.
11. Explore the other areas of the mouth. Especially the roof of the mouth. Lightly lick, or tickle the area with your tongue.
12. Don't bite. Whatever you do, don't bite.
13. Don't swing your tongue round and round like a windmill. Explore lightly, don't drill your way through.
14. Breathe through your nose. Breathe through your nose. I say again, breathe through your nose.
15. Follow so far? You can lightly use your hands too, lightly rubbing the other person. Suggestions, along the waist, along the back, the arms, especially the inside of the arm, the neck, maybe running your fingers through her hair. Again, don't cause pain.
16. Continue kissing.

pic courtesy:/www.links2love.com, 

Some One liners.....

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. -- Sir Norman Wisdom
One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even bargain costs money. -- Edgar Watson Howe
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! -- Doug Larson
A harmful truth is always better then...a useful lie!!! -- Eric Bolton
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. -- Erno Philips
I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. -- Robert Paul
We spends the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. -- Phyllis Diller
Laughter is the closest distance between two people. -- Victor Borge
Start every day with a smile and get it over with. -- W.C. Fields
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. -- Will Rogers
Always get married early in the morning? That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day. -- Mickey Rooney
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison. -- Tim Allen
If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...’ - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. -- Woody Allen
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
-- Erica Jong
Doesn’t take life too seriously; you'll never get out of it alive. -- Elbert Hubbard
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
-- Wendell Johnson
In life, it's not who you know that's important, its how your wife found out.
-- Joey Adams
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. -- Henry Youngman
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? -- Benny Hill

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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Swami Vivekananda said so.....

For my own part I will be incarnated two hundred times, if that is necessary to do what I have undertaken amongst my people.
All my patriotism is gone. Everything is gone. Now it's only Mother, Mother!
My ideal, indeed, can be put into a few words, and that is to preach unto mankind their divinity, and how to make it manifest in every movement of life.
Religion is the manifestation of the divinity already in man.
Religion is the idea which is raising the brute unto man, and man unto God.
The secret of religion lies not in theories but in practice. To be good and do good - that is the whole of religion.
Man is higher than all animals, than all angels; none is greater than man.
One may gain political and social independence, but if one is a slave to his passions and desires, one cannot feel the pure joy of real freedom.
Look at the wall. Did the wall ever tell a lie? It is always the wall. Man tells a lie and becomes a god, too. After so much austerity, I have understood this as the real truth - God is present in every jiva; there is no other God besides that. 'Who serves jiva, serves God indeed.'
Cut out the word help from your mind. You cannot help; it is blasphemy! You worship. When you give a morsel of food to a dog, you worship the dog as God. He is all, and is in all.
Unselfishness is God. One may live on a throne, in a palace, and be perfectly unselfish; and then he is in God. Another may live in a hut and wear rags, and have nothing in the world; yet if he is selfish, he is intensely merged in the world.
All nations have attained greatness by paying proper respect to women. That country and that nation which do not respect women have never become great, nor will ever be in future.
With five hundred men ... the conquest of India might take fifty years: with as many women, not more than a few weeks.
Religion and religion alone is the life of India, and when that goes, India will die, in spite of politics, in spite of social reforms, in spite of Kubera's wealth poured upon the head of every one of her children.
Before flooding India with socialistic or political ideas, first deluge the land with spiritual ideas.
We want to lead mankind to the place where there is neither the Vedas, nor the Bible, nor the Koran; yet this has to be done by harmonizing the Vedas, the Bible, and the Koran.
Mankind ought to be taught that religions are but the varied expressions of THE RELIGION, which is Oneness, so that each may choose the path that suits him best.
Who will give the world light? Sacrifice in the past has been the Law; it will be, alas, for ages to come. The earth's bravest and best will have to sacrifice themselves for the good of many, for the welfare of all.
Truth, purity, and unselfishness - whenever these are present, there is no power below or above the sun to crush the possessor thereof. Equipped with these, one individual is able to face the whole universe in opposition.
Everything can be sacrificed for truth, but truth cannot be sacrificed for anything.
The highest ideal is eternal and entire self-abnegation, where there is no 'I', but is Thou'.
By work alone, men may get to where Buddha got largely by meditation or Christ by prayer. Buddha was a working Jnani, Christ was a Bhakta, but the same goal was reached by both of them.
All expansion is life, all contraction is death.
All love is expansion, all selfishness is contraction. Love is therefore the only law of life. He who loves lives, he who is selfish is dying. Therefore love for love's sake, because it is law of life, just as you breathe to live.
The national ideals of India are Renunciation and Service. Intensity her in those channels, and the rest will take care of itself.
Good motives, sincerity, and infinite love can conquer the world. One single soul possessed of these virtues can destroy the dark designs of millions of hypocrites and brutes.
Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success

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अपरा एकादशी 2026: अनंत पुण्य और आत्मशुद्धि का पावन पर्व

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